What can I do to help my sister - confidence in relationship forming

[2childrenandit]

I'm hoping someone can offer some help or advice here.... My younger sister is 22, absolutley lovley and really genuine, gives loads of time to others and enjoys her work, has friends (but doesnt go out all the time) is quite mature, just never seems to have had a relationship or significant other (but has admired people from afar!)

I know that would like to find someone (and is quite fond of someone local!) but I seem to be the only person she will confide in and keep telling her to go for it, but she never does anything!

Would love to see her settle down/ find someone and know that in due course she would make a fantastic mum - just dont know what I can do to help - its not a case of setting them up and stepping back though (she'd kill me for a start!)

Any thoughts or suggestions or anyone been in a similar situation - I just think she does so much for others that she deserves to be happy and know this would mean the world to her.... Thanks.

How nice of you looking out for your sister. She sounds lovely and lucky to have a big sister to look out for her.

Is she unhappy that she is not in a relationship? Afterall she is only 22 and has loads of time to find someone special. I know I was never in any long reltionships until I met dh....I just wanted to have fun! When I met dh in a completely out of the ordinary situation we just clicked.

It is nice that you are concerned for your sister but usually these thing just happen - although going out and socializing can help move things along. Could you both go for a night out together sometimes? Does she know this person well enough to talk to? Could you in anyway instigate a conversation without being too obvious?

Thank longhardlook, I've tried to paint an image of her just as she is - very willing to do things for others and often hiding behind this. She has said on more than 1 occasion that she would love to have someone to share things with/ a meaningful relationship (we kind of prop each other up a bit iykwim, although she will very often keep things to herself and try to sort things out alone)

I just fear that she lacks the confidence to have the initial conversation/ make the approach etc (dh and i were luck in that we knew each other long before anything happened and things just evolved!) and that this may mean that if this guy is for her etc she may mess things up not having had any previous experience!

I hope I dont come accross as pushy for her, or trying to live anything through her, I just want her to be happy and to have what she deserves (shes done so much for other people I dont want her to get neglected in her own life and get to mid life, turn round and realise shes helped hundreds but was never happy herself)

I think it's lovely that you're so caring for her; wish I'd had a sister like that at 22!

I would imagine the best way was to be happy developing different friends and interests, just hanging out with likeminded people and have some nice female friends who have male friends/brothers etc, and she'll naturally meet someone that way. There's no hurry, I blush when I think of the guys I liked at 22, it might be time to experiment rather than settle down. If she is nice and kind as you say, I think she will naturally attract a nice guy, she just might not be at a stage where she is ready to get into a committed relationship.

quick bump for anyone around on a Saturday - she's coming for a pre xmas moan lunch tomorrow!