Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seem to have lost our spark

6 replies

frazzledgirl · 11/12/2008 07:08

This is going to sound very trivial compared to some of the real problems on here, sorry.

DH and I haven't had s*x in nearly three weeks. Before that, it was nearly two weeks. Every time we do, it's amazing and we both agree absolutely that we shouldn't leave it so long again. And then we do.

Can see lots of reasons why we wouldn't: 16-month-old DS who's CONSTANTLY ill (nursery germs) and often passes colds back to us (I can't remember the last time we were all healthy for more than a week). We often have visitors, or go away at the weekends.
We both work full-time. DH has to go to bed v early during the week and get up pre-dawn.

I dunno, though, shouldn't knowing we need to make more of an effort make it more likely to happen?

I feel more like a flatmate at the moment, and I know we're more likely to snap at each other etc.

Pre-DS we never rowed and laughed all the time. Even a few months ago we were doing better than this. I thought things were supposed to get easier, not harder . I don't think we're in trouble yet, but am worried we're heading that way.

OP posts:
Raalix · 11/12/2008 07:19

Based on what you've said, it sounds like you need to focus on the relationship rather than the sex!

Try to lighten the mood whenever you can. Play a game, curl up on the sofa and watch a film, share a laugh about something that happened earlier in the day - all these kinds of things will help keep the atmosphere relaxed and comfortable. In time, things will improve.

Whatever you do, don't let the current situation continue. You don't want to have flatmate status with your husband! I'm sure whatever efforts you make to keep the spark alive, your DH will pick up on and contribute to as well!

frazzledgirl · 11/12/2008 08:35

You're probably right - suspect real problem is we haven't had much (any) 'couple time' lately.

Up till a few weeks ago, we did have dinner out every couple of weeks. We still make a point of turning the TV off and discussing our day every night, but we're just so exhausted and usually slightly ill right now.

We don't row much at all BTW (re-reading my OP it might imply that, but we really don't), is just trivial snaps that worry me. And should also have said DH is fab and absolutely equal in childcare, housework etc.

Think we just really really need some quiet time and a break. But have family staying the weekend, Christmas stuff to sort, housework, work, we'll be away for over a week at Christmas...

OP posts:
MarlaCarolSinger · 11/12/2008 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTittleMouse · 11/12/2008 09:03

Bet you haven't really lost your spark!

Don't know if this is your kind of thing, but have you ever tried Laura Corn? We have used this book to great success.

frazzledgirl · 12/12/2008 08:13

The weeks flying by is right! Glad it's not too abnormal, but I think I need to reset the balance a bit.

MrsT, I wouldn't normally say that book is my kind of thing - but maybe it should be! will check it out, thanks for the tip

OP posts:
WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS · 12/12/2008 08:33

Two or three weeks between sex is nothing IME !

New posts on this thread. Refresh page