I think it is time to end my on and off relationship but how do i keep things that way?

[cantpickyourfamily]

Ex p and I have been on and off for 5 years. We now have 16month old dd, we broke up a few months ago but have said we will try counselling to work through our problems.

But I now feel I don't want to work it out with him. Its like when we are not together I want him and miss him. Then when I get him back he seems boring, needy and not very helpful. Also he cannot do things that I expect men to be able to do like fixing tyres etc.

I do not know why but when we are broken up I always see his good quailties and get back with him. And always think it would be better for dd if we were together.

Also when we are not getting on very well he says he will not look after dd when I need to go to work. So I have said he is acting like she is only my responsibilty and not his which is unfair as we are both her parents and it should not be my 'job' to look after her and not his.

"how do i keep things that way?" - can you expalin what you mean? Keep them what way?

I mean to stay broken up with him but not feel like I miss him or want him back. to make my decision to brake up with him and stick to it.

sounds awfully like a co-dependent relationship that gets harder to sustain asthe years go by. and tbh you're sounding pretty needy too.

have other rels. of yours been like this??

If you are moving towards positive things in your life this is easier than just moving away from negative things iyswim.

What are you moving towards, what is exciting and positive for you?

Sorry I did not reply I had problems with m computer.

Pan - I have only ever had one other relationship as met exp when I was 18 so have not really got anything to go on as that was not really a serious relationship as did n ot live together or anything.

Podrick - that is a good point you made, I am not really moving towards anything positive but I do want to start a course so maybe if I started organising that I would have something positive to look forward to.

Also I have another problem, I have planned to go abroad with exp for xmas and then he said he is not going and will not pay me the money I paid for the holiday £600.

But later changed his mind. But I dont want to spend 2weeks abroad with him. The only way it will work is if I try and be nice to him but I really dont fell like being nice to him. Obviously if he does not come I will be loosing out on £600 but that is not really enough money to make me want to ruin my xmas and spend it with him.