Advice need re new boyfriend

[chubbysanta]

Have been seen new b/f for 6 weeks now and he keeps telling me that he really likes me and has fallen for me etc and has found someone that he clicks with.

The problem is I dont think I feel the same as I still keep thinking of my ex-partner. So I dont really know what to do. Have spoken to friends in RL and they think new boyfriend is good for me and so keep seeing him and they think I should be over ex.

Some advice would be appreciated as I really dont know what to do.

He seems a bit full on for 6 weeks.
If you don't feel the same and don't think you ever will you should end it before he gets really hurt.
If you think you might feel the same in time then carry on seeing him but be as honest with him as possible about your feelings.
It does sound to me like you aren't ready for a new relationship while you still have feelings for your ex.

Not fair to keep stringing him along if you dont feel anything for him. Maybe its too soon for you to be in another relationship, and you should be on your own to sort your head out.

Never mind what your friends think. They are not you, and it is up to you who you date.
I would run screaming from this man, personally, but then I have found (being quite elederly) that men who are this full-on this early on are either desperate or up to no good.
Tell him you're not looking for anything serious and there's no need to rush. If he is worth keeping, he will back off a bit. If he bursts into tears, he's inadequate, if he gets nasty he's unacceptably possessive and controlling ('I have said 'I love you' therefore you must be grateful and obey me).

chubbysanta, I think this is best called off for 2 reasons.

1. Clearly you are not over your ex and therefore it is unfair not only to your new boyfriend but also to yourself. You need some single time to rediscover yourself and your emotional equilibrium. Then you will have a much better chance of finding someone just right for you.

1. 6 weeks from meeting to declaring undying love is extremely off-putting to me. Experience tells me that men that say this often have problems with accepting you as a real person. They tend to put you on a pedestal and then get irrationally angry when your halo slips. They also tend to want the relationship to benefit to the exclusion of everything else. I'm not saying it's not ok for him to feel like this after only 6 weeks, just that it's not okay for him to keep declaring it and pressurising you like this.

At the end of the day though, this is just my opinion, not a statement of fact, so whatever you decide to do, I hope things work out for the best for you.

I keep thinking that he is going to tell me he loves me when he tells me that he thinks I am great etc, and that is what I am dreading. He is a really lovely guy and has introduced me to all his friends etc and told them all about me,thats what started to scare me and him saying that he wanted to see me every night. I did tell him about my ex and how I felt but all he said was that I have got him now

I think that you are all probably right and that I should end it but I am feeling guilty as its just before christmas and I dont want him to be sad for then.

i have been single now for nearly a year and I was thinking it was about time that I moved on and I thought I was ready but I have found myself comparing things.

I would just back off a bit and let him know you like him but it's moving a bit too quickly, no need to end it but just create a bit of distance then if you still feel the same after xmas/ in the new year end it then.

I agree with lovemygirls, that's probably what I'd do. I don't think six weeks is too soon to fall in love though , but if the feeling isn't mutual then yes, there's an issue.

Oh, but if he happens to have Burberry-printed turn-ups on his jeans, you really need to end it now.

Yes I know Bitoffun its not to soon I knew when I met my expartner that I loved him.

I think its me that cant at this moment in time let go of the past for what ever reason,even though I want to, but seeing someone else has just got me thinking of my ex and I am starting to think I am probably better spending my life on my own until I am over him but what scares me is that I will never get over him

Lovemygirls, I have backed of abit and I have said that he would be sick of seeing me every night but he says he wouldnt.

I also cant believe that someone could like me that much and I dont feel that I am worthy of being like by another man.

no he hasnt got those.

they say the best of way of getting over someone is to get under someone else and I've always found that to be true (disclaimer it may not be true for everyone)

It took me a long time to realise I deserve to be treated well and I can be loved. I understand what you mean there.

I have been trying that as he is a great kisser and turns me on

I think that is alot of the problem me thinking I shouldnt be treated well.

Gosh you think life would get easier as you get old but at 35 my love life still feels the same as when I was a teenager

I think if he turns you on and makes you laugh then keep him. Comparing him to your ex isn't good and isn't fair. Your ex is your ex for a reason so not always a good thing to look for someone with the same "qualities"

My exes were really b**s it took me ages to realise my dp was wonderful in a totally different way and has made me happier than any other man ever and I really didn't think that would be the case for the first 6mths tbh.

Sometimes it takes time especially when you are used to being treated badly.

this song reminds me of my dp and how I felt in the first bit of our relationship awwwwww