I just want to say yes - but always say no

[minkinpink]

Six years ago I started a new job and I met a man at work who I felt an instant and powerful attraction for and it was obvious it was mutual. After a few weeks happily bouncing around a colleague told me he had a girlfriend in another department - I was really shocked and immediately put the relationship on a very professional basis.

But after a year the flirting started.

Four and a half years now I have been flirting with this man who I feel an incredibly strong attraction for. I jokingly admitted my feelings last summer and he has done the same but today said seriously he finds me incredibly attractive and he wants more. My job changes mean I need to work more and more closely with him although previously I have avoided him as I know I shouldn't be so happy to be with someone who is in a relationship. Today we nearly kissed but I asked him to leave my office. He apologised (which he didn't need to do) and said it would never happen again.

BUT I WANT IT TO!

I'm single (a single mum with a nearly 8yr old ds)and have been totally single and celibate for 8 years (which is a really long time)- he is still with his girlfriend who I.... respect and get on with much better than many people.

So I always say no - but I so want to say yes.

Tell me I am doing the right thing and need to just forget about him - please help me...

(Apologies for grammer length and spelling)

4.5 years

TBH, i would leave things

spend your time and energy on someone who will reciprocate and who isn't with someone else

i appreciate this may sound harsh, but you are doing the right thing

well done you, he's trying to have his cake and eat it, am glad you have more respect for yourself than that

he wants more, he should sort his life out first. You are doing the right thing.

NO ethically no! Remember your a woman. If the shoe was on the other foot...It may be nice now but its pure lust. And hes not a decent man. If he can disrespect his girlfriend and make a pass for you, what do you seriously will happen when you and him get it together...if it ever gets there. And lest face it you dont hurt someone you respect so... you cannot possibly say you respect his girlfriend. If you respected her you would tell her what a loser of a man she was dating. And the two of yo deserve better! I hope i dont seem harsh. But i sense your lonliness and the willingness to do the right thing. I just dont want you to make a mistake you'll regret. If he likes you that much tell him to dump his lady and if you still want him that much then at least hes single.

Hope ive been off some help.

excuse the spelling errors. xx

think of this. if he's willing to do this to his gf with you, he'll be willing to do this with someone else when you're his gf.

you can't trust him now because he's willing to cheat. surely you want someone who won't betray his partner's trust.

I agree withthe others.

If he seriously wants you, he has to sort things out with his girlfriend first.

Many thanks for the responses - I just need a bit of a hand sometimes as I do like him very much, admire his work and enjoy his company as well as the physical attraction which is incredibly intense.

I am not really likely to meet anyone else but know I must leave this. I don't want to be responsible for the pain of breaking up relationships as it happened to me when I was 7 months pregnant (and would have been married if I hadn't been). I should stress that it is not something either of us chose and the reason that it has gone on so long is that we always always draw back if we get too close.

It's just it is hard boo hoo hoo

Minkinpink, aside from the flirting etc, have you two had any serious discussions as to his relationship? Do you think he would consider ending things with his girlfriend to be with you (obviously ending it before anything happens)? I wouldn't want to be involved in someone else break-up either, but I'm interested to know how he perceives his existnig relationship?