My dh finally admitted last night he has problems with me having a gay friend.

[DeckHallsWithFIMBOughsofHolly]

Was going to name change but decided not to bother.

Over the last few weeks I have made friends with another mum at school who is gay.

Dh & I had a heart to heart and he says although he knows he is being entirely stupid he feels jealous. He reckons its the same as him going out with a female colleague for lunch etc.

He says he has no justification for feeling like this. He met my friend for the first time on Saturday and liked her.

Arrgh. Silly silly man.

How is it the same as him going out with a female collegue for lunch? and whats wrong with that anyway, does he not realise that men and women, men and gay men, women and lesbiens can all have platonic friendships?

Just cos she is gay doesnt mean she is going to want to munch your rug, he is a silly man

god lord.

Looking at the positives at least he is able to be honest with you but....

He shouldn't really decide who you should form friendships with and this sort of input will normally change the course of how your friendship will develop.

Is he like this with everyone or just potential friends who happen to be lesbian?

More to the point, just cos she is gay doesn't mean you want to munch anything

At least he admitted how he felt, is he expecting you to do anything about it or was he just shring his thoughts?

I have had that conversation with him VT. I don't think he gets the platonic friendship thing.

It's not going to stop my being friends with this lady. He is just going to have to get over himself.

No he is not like this with everyone, I guess he was just sharing his thoughts.

It's more like him going out with a gay male colleague - how about asking him how he'd feel about you being jealous of that. Most men I suspect would be horrified at the thought that you could be jealous, because he knows that even if the other man fancied him he would never consider returning those feelings. He needs to understand that you are no more capable of fancying her than he is of fancying a gay man.

(Assuming of course that you think the probability of either of those is close enough to zero not to worry about...)

Would he feel bad if he made friends with a gay bloke at work then?

(xposts w amuminscotland...)

Could be worse.

He could be hinting that he'd enjoy seeing you and her in bed together. :-)

Oh good god. It's not the same...two straight people at least have a tiny chance of fancying each other (although that's so ridiculous anyway) but...correct me if I'm wrong...you aren't gay? So even if this woman was attracted to you (unlikely, if she knows you are straight and married) you wouldn't reciprocate...

Pathetic. Jealousy is so unattractive.

I dunno. Obviously it is ridiculous to be jealous but he seems to acknowledge that. At least you can have conversations like that with each other.

I'm one of the ones who thinks it is great that DH has been honest with you. Yes, he does have to get over himself. I do however really respect the fact that he has communicated this to you.

Communication is so important between couples and the fact that he probably felt like a bit of a dick telling you about this insecurity IMO speaks volumes.

A little bit of reassurance goes a long way and he will get over it and realise he is being a bit of a silly bugger, especially if he can eventually meet your friend which would help dispel his worries