For crying out loud MIL. Give us a break!

[OrmIrian]

2 weeks to Christmas. We have loads of stuff to do to the house to get it even decent for Christmas as we're doing CHristmas dinner for assorted olds as well as the 5 of us. And because it was coming up to Christmas SIL and MIL both decided they had to have work done to their houses and the only way they could afford to have it done as to ask DH to do it at less than cost. They don't know but he usually ends up losing money from the work he does for them. So he has fitted 3 doors for his sister, screeded and tiled her kitchen door. Rebuilt a stone leant-to for his mum. He has to go back this saturday to replace some tiles in SILs kitchen and generally tidy up. Then we can get down to sorting our place out.

Just got a phone call from MIL asking if he could do some very urgent work for her before christmas. She needs a new boiler and she is getting a grant to do it but it can't be done unless someone does some carpentry work beforehand. 'It's not a big job, won;t take him long' she say. How the hell does she know?

I am so cross. He can't turn it down - she needs it done asap. And she knows that.I mentioned that he was a little busy - 'I know' she said' I do feel guilty but he's the only one I know who can do it'. Really? The only builder/carpenter in the whole of SOmerset

I was posting on the nice MIl thread earlier today....

And breeeeatthhhe.....

Have him recommend someone else who can do it and explain that he doesn't have time right now, since that's the truth.

When she pays the real price she might start to appreciate what her son is actually doing for her and tone down the demands a bit.

That would be good skidoodle. But I know she almost certainly couldn't afford it. It was simply the bloody timing and the assumption that wound me up. Like we're both sitting around with nowt to do but fix up her flat for her.

God I sound so ungracious and grump

Ha ha, no you don't. You sound tired and like you need Christmas to come maybe a little sooner than it's billed to arrive so you can have a rest.

If she can't afford it and there is a deadline then I guess you'll probably just have to deal with this one. If you get on well with her could you maybe try to talk to her (at a different, more chilled out time) about how hard he works and how much pressure he can sometimes be under when everybody in the family expects him to be their personal chippy?

Tell her you're thinking of insisting that he start a referral system so that people stop taking advantage of his good nature. OBVIOUSLY he doesn't mind doing things for her

You might get the message across to her that she is maybe sometimes overburdening her darling son, and it might get make her a little more protective of him when other family members start deciding they want a little work done. "Oh, my son/your brother is very busy, I'll talk to him and see if he can recommend somebody good to do the work."

Good idea.

Until recently she could always find someone at her church to do work for her. I can only assume she's worn out their Christian charity now

Isn't Christmas about an over worked carpenter and miracle that is his son?

LOL

OMG OrmIrian - be careful! If your DH arrives home with a donkey (or to be safe, any other beast of burden), don't go on any kind of trip with him.

OMG!!! Seriously doubt if either of my 2 DS are divine in any way whatsoever. And I have never ever had anything to do with a bloke in a white dress with wings. I'd have remembered.

Anyway he isn't a carpenter anymore. He's an LSA in a special school. Know any stories about them?

He is going over on Saturday after he has finished the work at his sister's house. So I won't see him until Midnight then

I am still a teeny bit cross that he's been dragooned into this with no real choice of saying no.

Sounds like a saint...

Can understand him doing work at his mom's, but could you say to sil something cheeky like, 'didn't DH do a great job on the tiling?... Merry Christmas...'