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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My in laws are driving me nuts, I am dreading xmas, sorry long!

3 replies

victoriaplum08 · 07/12/2008 23:15

I am absolutely dreading christmas this year. Last year, before the birth of my dd, I got on fine with my oh's mum and her husband. However as soon as she as born, his mother turned into a nightmare! She was obsessed with my dd, turning up for 5 hours a day to 'keep me company' when I had just given birth. I had to run around after her making tea etc whilst she just cuddled my baby all day. She kept making comments about my 'baby weight' from about 2 weeks after I had her. The pair of them were thouroughly annoyed that I wouldnt let them look after her at 3 weeks old (and exclusively bf) for more than 3 hours and were 2 hours late bringing her home because they couldnt get her in the car seat
They both used to snatch her off me, and whilst she has stopped doing this, he hasnt, its like a compulsion that he has to take her off me about 5 times per visit. He is very controllng. I also worry about the food they feed her. At 3 months she fed her a jar of baby food and ice cream when I wasnt there even though I had told them she wasnt weaned yet. They feed her whole grapes and peanut butter despite choking/ allergy risk. The list goes on. This is my daughters first christmas, I wanted to spend it at home but he was amused said we have no table and our house is too small, therefore we are spending it at theirs, ie, on their terms. I get on much better now with mil and I feel a lot of her behaviour is down to him, but I cant stand it. Today he told my dd off and made her sob,(she is nearly 1!!)What do I do, I am really not looking forwards to christmas! I have tried being assertive, but then they get all huffy and moody.

OP posts:
SugaryTits · 07/12/2008 23:16

You must stand your ground- your Christmas, your way! Your OH should stand up to his parents!

victoriaplum08 · 07/12/2008 23:20

I try! It just causes friction and then all I get is sarky, snipey coments back from him, and moody silence from her. Also my oh thinks Im just being a mardy bum, although he isnt overly keen on his stepfather either. (love your name btw st!)

OP posts:
SugaryTits · 07/12/2008 23:24

You need to tell your OH how much your were looking forward to Christmas, just the three of you, in your own home and stress to him how upset you are- it is his responsibility to deal with his parents!

If that fails could you have a heart to heart with MIL (tears might help here) and arrange to see them Boxing day?

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