I'm so fed up with DH's shifts...anyone else in the same boat?

[MrsClausinJimmyChoos]

I appreciate that he works hard, I really do and I try to make his shifts as easy for him as I can - I do all the washing, cooking, cleaning and shopping and when he has night shifts, the most he has to do is bath DS while I'm cooking and help with getting him to bed.

However, he's always complaining he's tired. The shift work (odd weekend days some night shifts) is optional but he likes to have the extra cash to hand so its a choice thing, we could manage without them.

Last Thur and Friday he did night shifts. He came in at 9.30am on the Sat am. He went to bed and woke around 4pm. He went to bed that night around 10am and slept through until DS woke us up around 9am the next day (DS had a lie in that day!). DH still looked tired so I told him to go back to bed. He did and slept until 11am...now, I'd already had DS for the two days I wasn't at work, the nights DH was doing the shift and one of them, I only had 4hrs sleep as DS wasn't well and then the best part of the Sunday as DH had such a long lie in.

Where to draw the line? I understand that shifts must really mess with your body clock but its disrupting so much and I'm exhausted as well. Also, when DH wants me to look after DS so he can see his friends, I feel saturated as I've done loads of looking after him when DH is working extra shifts and I'm inclined to say no some of the time and then DH is grrr at not having time out..

Any ideas?

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In a similar position here-if he's had a good 7/8 hrs sleep I think its only fair that he shares the child care/chores. I do find shifts very frustrating in that I cant commit to any eve class etc (for a bit of me time) as even the early shifts eat into the eves.On days off my dh likes to play his sport and/or go for beers,its hard not to feel a bit resentful.

Nights are a killer for lots of people - I used to do them and hated them. For some reason 7 hours sleep after a night shift just isn't the same as 7 hours sleep overnight.

If he is finding it so hard that he isn't able to be a dad properly, then maybe he needs to drop the nights? Can you tactfully suggest that you are struggling and need more support? I would feel resentful too if on the days he isn't working he is off out with his mates, unless it was balanced by him having the children occasionally so I could go out.

DH works shifts that change - he is mainly on nights but every other weekend he is on days, and sometimes overtime days or nights. Sometimes too much sleep can make you feel worse, we have a pattern going now - he gets to bed about 7/7.30 am sleeps until 12 2 days a week, 3 one day a week (his first night shift) and 1/2 the others. He leaves again at 5.30 though so there is little time! Days he just isn't here - gone from 5.30 am until 7pm. Hoping one day he will have a normal job!

I'm in the same boat, only it's me working the shifts, they really do muck your system up. I'm permanently tired, I go to bed tired and I wake up tired. I'm a single parent and have everything else to do on top of working.