If you had to go to a funeral would you expect DH to go?

[npg1]

My Grandad has just died. DH is at buisness school studying an MBA, he has exams not next week but the week after and will be revising next week. I said last night I hope you will come and he said if it's the week of his exams he cant come.

I have other people to go with but not sure if this is out of order?

I wouldn't expect dh to come to a funeral if it was during the week of exams.

When my grandmother died recently, DH did not come. He could have if my MIL had looked after the children, but instead he stayed at home with the children.

Anyway - that's not entirely relevant, but personally I don't think it is out of order for him not to accompany you.

I would leave it up to him I think. If he is usually really supportive and would definitely come long if he could, then I think I would understand.

I think it really depends on how close you were to your grandad (so how much support you'll need), whether your DH had a relationship with him so might also be expected to pay his respects and how important his exams are and what the consequence of missing one or two is.

If he has exams, then I think it's excusable for him not to attend, especially as it's a grandparent.

Was he very close to your grandfather?

Life does have to go on, and if these exams are important for your DH then I would say that they do take priority.

Sorry. I'm sure that you would like him to be with you, but it's never as simple as that.

I agree with what the others have said.

While in an ideal world it would be wonderful if he could go with you, I'm sure, his exams are also important I suppose. In your position I would leave it up to him to decide.

If he had to miss an exam, I would not expect my DH to go with me.

I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather npg1.

Sorry to hear about your granddad

My husbands nan died a couple of weeks ago and i didn't go to the funeral.

Also a close relative of mine died 3 months ago and my husband didn't go.

Largely due to work and distance to funeral and kids.

In an ideal world, yes, but not in the situation you describe

sorry for your loss though

Yes, I would expect him to come.

The funeral (and any get togethers) would be an afternoon?

he is revising, rather than having a scheduled exam.

He should pay his respects, and support you.

ok thanks. I understand he probably wont be able to come, although I would like him to support me but I know he will have exams or need to revise.

I was not very close to my grandad, hadnt seen him for 3 years but saw him 2 times before he died.

if i was close to him, he would come. otherwise i'd support him in his need to study and not expect him to go.

As others have said, it depends how close he was to your grandad. You have said you didn't see him much. Will it be a lot of travelling and therefore time taken up to go to the funeral? I would say definitely not if it clashes with one of his exams, but if it is revising it depends. He could work around that. However, I have been to family funerals without my DH when they are a distance away and it involved a day off work for someone he didn't really know, and didn't mind that, so I would let it go if he still says he can't.

If it wasn't for the exams, then yes, I would expect dh to come to a grandparent's funeral (I went to his granny's funeral when we were engaged, even though I had only met her once) as it is am important family occasion, IMO. However, if he has an exam that day, then no I wouldn't ask him to miss it.

i would expect him to come if it was revision week but not if he had an exam,i recently went to DH,s stepbrothers funeral,i had only met him once but DH wanted me there so i went,but im at college and if it had been an exam week i prob wouldnt have gone.

My grandad died last month and DH came as well,even tho he lost a days pay.

HTH