Dh doesn't want to leave me with children

[ohmy]

Please help, dh has finally confessed after days of trying to get him to talk that he is frightened to leave me with our children (I've changed my name for this thread), I have two children and one is a handful, apparently I have scared dh with my temper (though I never smack the kids, just shout). I have PND and to be honest am finding it increasingly hard to cope with day to day things, if it was up to me I would never leave the house, dh keeps putting me in situations whereas I have to (not maliciously, i.e. being stuck in traffic so I have to go out and collect our eldest from nursery), I really do not know where to go from, to think that my dh and my eldest child (my youngest is too young to realise, i think) are frightened of me breaks my heart in two, please help

I must admit Sobernow, I would love to be able to talk to my HV, but to be honest, I do not like her, she is stuck up and resolves all problems by reading a book.

Thanks for asking whether DH is right to be scared.

Well, yes I have a very very bad temper and have only ever lost it twice. I often do lost temper with the eldest and used to smack her but have not smacked her for nearly 9 months. If she gets me really really mad I go and lock myself in either my bedroom or bathroom, the thing is though, the last time I really lost it with her, dh was sat in a chair watching television and showing no interest whatsoever and only turned round when I lost it, he never offered once to try and help. I am finding things very very very hard at the minute and feel there is no-one to turn to, I am on AD's and feel they are doing no good. Oh to sleep forever.

you/ve hit the nail on the head. I am the one that deals out the discipline ( even though he says I am far too strict) I cannot stand cheeky and obnoxious children and will not tolerate it from my own children.

I have going out of the house, I am fat and feel really concious of it where ever i go. What makes it worse is when I take my ds1 to school I see an ex (who is is still very attractive) who can remember me being skinny ( though he has never mentioned it once and treats me just the same as he did years ago).

I must admit that I sometimes scare myself with the way I feel, usually when the kids are in bed and I have time to ponder.

ohmy - I don't know if you've read any of the previous PND threads, but I suffer from PND and for the first 5 weeks of ds's life I didn't leave the house at all.... not even to put out the rubbish.
I too have a terrible temper with my dp and have lashed out at him a few times, which is TOTALLY out of character (I've never smacked ds - 21 mths old). Ds has witnessed me in hysterics many times and even though I can see the fear in his little face I find it very hard to stop. DP has tried and tried to be understanding, but you know what men are like!!

The AD's you are on don't seem to be working for you, perhaps it is times for a change or an increase in dosage??

I am slightly concerned about your reference to you wanting to 'sleep forever'. You really must speak to someone soon, like sobernow suggests.

Good luck and keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.

Feeling a bit brighter this morning after a relatively good nights sleep and feel a little better after getting alot of things off my chest with dh, he has agreed to come to the doctor with me to have a talk with her so he understands more about the PND. Going back to bed soon for another nap though as I am still shattered.

Have you got a good friend who could support you through this? It sounds like you need someone reliable daily, ideally someone who could look after the kids while you go back to bed. Agree about changing your ADs. Have you been referred to your community mental health nurse yet? If not, go back to your GP ASAP and repeat what you said to us about sleeping forever. I think you'll get referred pronto. It's a shame your HV isn't approachable. It's best to try and get help with the agoraphobia sooner rather than later.
Poor you, I wish I could be more help. Are there any PND support groups in your area?