I am living with a new me.

[Amazoniancracker]

Only just discovered her. Found her in the bathroom mirror about half an hour ago.

There she was, looking a full 3 stone lighter, smiling, a little knackered-looking, but still able to hold a glass of wine above her head and say 'if I wasn't holding this glass of wine above my head I would be doing a head-stand on ds's changing mat.'

Ever-optimistic. Mat is very flimsy. Head soft.

sitdownpleasegoeroge your box has just arrived. I am a bit overwhelmed. Thankyou so much!! It's like christmas come early in my sitting room.. You must have had to remortgage the house to pay the postage!

I love the things. I just love them - the balls rolling out of the tunnels toy ds is going to be thrilled by - he was at a birthday on sunday and the little girl had something similar and he hogged it all afternoon!

I really can't thankyou enough. It makes me cry because lovely people like you - and geordie - strangers! - have shown me such kindness while my own husband and ds's own father plus his crap family have utterly wiped us out, blanked ds's birthday and shown absolutely not a shred of compassion for the hell we have been through.

I love the christmas jumper and will put it on ds when he wakes up and take a photo.

xx

I am among those trying to help shoptilidrop on her thread poor girl. I feel my christmas has arrived and am bursting with good cheer right now and gratitude. But I remember well the physical agony of the summer and beyond.

I was surprised by how little it cost to post a heavy box. Sending parcels is not as expensive as you (and me too, originally) think it might be. If I had got my act together earlier I could have sent it using standard delivery for just under a tenner. I will do this with the next one. I just wanted it to get to you early enough for you to wrap anything that might be suitable for Father Christmas to bring

I cleared some overstocking of bathroom supplies too (dh buys 3 of everything at a time and doesn't choose stuff that I would), I hope they didn't leak in transit.

Nothing leaked in transit. The bath toys are great. He doesnt have that many. Musical mat is amazing too. I have been having a go on it! Can I get your email address somehow? Do you have one? I am cattable.

Will definitely wrap things up from santa.

I confess the musical mat was an ebay bargain when ds 1 was younger, he and I had good fun "doing music" with it but ds2 shows no interest at all so I thought I'd pass it on. Ds1 is fairly musical but ds2 is a bit of a thug, mostly likes bashing and throwing things and charging about - the kind of kid for whom large soft play centres are a god send even if the tea and coffee is dire whilst you watch them play.

My main e-mail address is my real name so I don't use it for anything MN related as I am wary of being outed even by accident. I have another email address but it is in limbo at present until I have time off at Christmas to get it sorted and I will do this but am working right up to Christmas Eve.

Please don't be overwhelmed by stuff, remember I have freed up space in my home as my reward. I don't have anyone local to pass on this stuff to (and do feel free to e-bay stuff for funds when you are done with it, that way it maximises the benefit to you).

Ok re email. Well large thankyous again then. I think ds is quite musical - I am, and his father was - so he should be.

I love the xmas teddy...'Teddy' is ds's first word which he said yesterday!!

I hope you don't mind me posting, but I have read your threads and wanted to let you know that I think you are an amazing women and mum to your little boy.

I want to wish you a happy christmas and an amazing 2009. Please do not let your 'family' get to you, it has taken me alot to realise that my children and partner are my family, and I hope that you will one day feel like a family unit with your ds. Love and hugs to you both.

Ergh having a bad one. Bastard bastard man. ds growing up and starting to talk and its hard looking at him when I thinh his father should be here. One my good friends had a second baby last night and her husband has stuck with her. My bastard cunt sent not a word text email message via anything or anyone at all over entire xmas period. Which is good.
Which just erases seven years of marriage
which means he is happy screwing his prozzies or forever-girls in bangland.

Which is just difficult tonight. I have done well. I am so very very tired. I have to put ds into bed - he is bathed and beautiful. But I am oh so tired

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. It's always surprising when they creep up on you isn't it? Unfortunately and tediously normal though. Tomorrow will be better. And the bad days will get further apart, and less difficult as you go.

You made it through the holidays huzzah! That is a major hurdle for certain.

It must be hard for you to look at your son and not be reminded of your ex. I can imagine that you miss him on one hand, and are grateful he's gone on the other hand. It's tough, I know. I also imagine that you know what a terrible and unsettling influence he would have been on your son had he stayed.

Courage. The universe hears you. Well, I suppose if it was REALLY paying attention you would have received some extremely validating information by now...something like "Am in prison for the next 40 years and have a terrible, incurable skin rash. Oh and I was never worthy of the ground you walked on I have just realized what a massive idiot I am". But I'm sure you can be more creative than me!

Thanks greyclay. Thanks and more thanks for hanging in with me. Its still bad. ugh. fifteen steps forward only one back, but the one back is herculean. Been sick everywhere. PTS.
Know it, but knowing it doesn't stop projectile vomit. tmi sorry. going to get all arsewipe's stuff taken away from garage. Good and correct idea from my friend gettingagrip. This is bereavement with none of the closure or mourning - nothing to mourn as he turned out to be a £$%^&nt and no closure as he is shagging abroad and I remain married to someone I neither know nor ever see or hear from.

Pass the cashews.

eek having a bad night. stay with me

Thanks greyclay. Thanks and more thanks for hanging in with me. still bad. ugh. fifteen steps forward one back, but the one back is herculean. Been sick everywhere. stress. tmi sorry.
going to get all arsewipe's stuff taken away from garage. Good and correct idea from my friend gettingagrip. This is bereavement with none of the closure or mourning - nothing to mourn as he turned out to be a shit and no closure, as he is shagging abroad and I remain married to him - someone I don't know anymore or ever see or hear from.

Pass the cashews.

eek having a bad night. stay with me

I have read your posts right from the very beginning and I think you are an amazing strong woman.

We all have bad days and you're not any different, go with the flow, remind yourself of what a bastard he is, how wonderful you are and how you are looking just fabulous at the moment.

Turn your anger into something positive and maintain it.

xxxx

Shouting on my own thread??

Dismissable offence surely.

Joined POF today. Just dipping toe in the broiling waters. Came foot-to-foot with a load of freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks decent-sounding chaps.

Come back h, all is forg$%^&*

Joking. What I meant was, come back h and join the queue.

ha ha, good for you UA!

You are doing so well.