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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would your DH/DP do if you did this to them?

51 replies

MrsSnape · 30/11/2008 23:03

Lets just say he left his shoes in the bathroom ... you were in a bit of daft mood so filled them with water for a laugh.

Thinking about it properly ... how would he/she actually react? I mean, don't just say "he'd kick off" ... what would he/she actually do?

There is a point to this thread which I'll make clear later but no, I'm not trolling!

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 01/12/2008 09:22

I think he would be astonished as it would be so completely out of personality for me to do something like that (I take pretty good care of material possessions). And cross, too, as he doesn't like damaging material possessions either.

cory · 01/12/2008 09:30

He'd assume it was ds. Poor little lad.

fondant4000 · 01/12/2008 09:38

He'd shout and swear, then he'd calm down and ask me what was going on and if I was having a breakdown.

If I said no, he'd probably march off, door-slamming and not speak to me for a day.

TBH he'd be worried for my sanity and would think that I didn't give a s**t about him.

hecate · 01/12/2008 09:48

he'd think I'd lost my marbles. He wouldn't find it funny at all.

Then he'd go out and buy new shoes.

CountessDracula · 01/12/2008 09:55

If I were in a daft mood I could think of far more interesting things to do that ruin a pair of shoes

CharleeInPantoPaperChains · 01/12/2008 09:57

I wouldn't do it, but if i did he would get angry and have a rant about it, tell me i am childish ect then go out and spend alot of money on new ones.

hecate · 01/12/2008 09:57

I am dying to know if op actually did this, and how her husband reacted.

miamla · 01/12/2008 10:05

i reckon it was the other way round ie husband did it to OP and he's accusing her of overreacting

MrsSnape · 01/12/2008 10:07

Now to explain!

My friend phoned me fuming last night. She had had a row with her husband which apparantly started over a pair of shoes being ruined and ended in talk of divorce!

I asked what had happened and she said her "idiot" husband had filled her shoes with water for a laugh. She had hit the roof, they had argued and he had said to her...

"It's the same with everything! if a woman had done it to a blokes shoes it would have been funny but when its done to a woman its not!"

I'm terrible for this kind of thing and I'm so glad she didn't come around to tell me because I couldn't keep a straight face it sounds JUST like the kind of thing I would do if I was in a daft mood.

Anyway, I suppose it's not funny that they're so upset over it but I just wondered if there was any truth in what he said...would a man be expected to laugh whilst a woman is quite entitled to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Jux · 01/12/2008 10:23

How old are the people involved? If I did that to my dh, he would assume that our dd had done it and also (quite rightly) be absolutely furious because, at 9yo SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER. I would have to step in and admit to doing it myself, at which point he would be extremely angry with me, and then he would worry FOR EVER that I had gone mad and needed psychological help. He would keep an eye on me for weeks, if not months, for behaviour that bore out his worry, and would always use it against me if I did anything stupid again. Your friend's bloke is puerile, and no, no one would expect a man to think it's a laugh unless it was done by his best mate when they were pissed and sharing student digs.

georgiemum · 01/12/2008 10:25

Blame child
Yell
Make me buy a new pair
Go on and on and on and on and on.......

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 01/12/2008 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lemonstartree · 01/12/2008 10:31

If anyone in our house did that I would be furious. Its not funny, its pathetic and ruins a perfectly good pair of shoes.

ILiketoMarmiteMarmite · 01/12/2008 10:39

I don't think he would believe I had done it. If he did it to me I would phone the doctor.

MrsSnape · 01/12/2008 11:57

They're late 30's. they have been on rocky ground for ages, hardly even talk to each other anymore. He spends ALL his free time shut away in the spare room on the pc. Maybe this has something to do with it.

OP posts:
NCRedBreastedBirdy · 01/12/2008 12:01

odd way to make contact if they are already on a rocky patch. TBF I would have laughed when she told me about it but I would have lynched him if I was on the receiving end. IF I had done that to someone I would fully expect to be balled out about it!

I wonder if he got angry because he realised it was stupid but couldn't back down IYSWIM.

BirdyArms · 01/12/2008 12:03

I think that dh and I would each react the same if the other had done this, ie pissed off and disappointed that the other would do something so idiotic. It is just the sort of thing that would just be a minor row in a stable marriage but could really start off something big if you are already on rocky ground and one of your is looking for a fight.

thumbwitch · 01/12/2008 12:20

MrsSnape, I hope you can direct your friend to this thread then, and if she can be bothered, she can print it out for her idiot H.

I think so far >90% of people of both genders would have been pretty pissed off about it, so he is an arse and doesn't know what he's talking about.

SilverSixpence · 01/12/2008 12:42

this thread is completely loopy! ur friend's DH is nuts - sounds like he was just picking a fight.

TheArmadillo · 01/12/2008 13:03

Dp would be both shocked and furious. He wouldn't see it as normal or funny. He's not a particularly angry person and when he calmed down I assume he'd be worried.

I would be fuming if he did the same to me. But I don't think he ever would. He has a history of odd practical jokes, but nothing like that - which is just ruining shoes for no good reason.

wilbur · 01/12/2008 13:07

Dh would def think I was having a breakdown if I did something like that. Maybe if he only wore crap shoes... no, no, I could never see myself doing something like that, totally puerile.

TheProvincialLady · 01/12/2008 13:14

It wasn't funny and it was hardly the kind of behaviour destined to repair a damaged relationship. Both DH and I would hit the roof if either of us ever did such a thing - but we never would.

CapricaSix · 01/12/2008 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pamelat · 01/12/2008 13:17

Did she do it for a reaction (negatively or otherwise)?? Maybe she just wanted to shout that she did exist.

NorkyButNice · 01/12/2008 13:18

DH would probably chuck the water over me.

And think I'd gone nuts...

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