I have to be all adult-like, and speak to my father

[jofeb04]

Hiya,

Just had another argument from my dad. When he dropped my dc off, he saw some paper on the floor which he could see from the window - fgs, I've had about 20books all around me trying to get a bloody essay done, last thing on my mind was some paper (which btw, was photocopy of some other books).

He said my house has always been like this, no, it is not just to my mums high specification! And, he hasn't been in my house for about two years, apart from Christmas day last year. We are the ones who are always expected to drive to see them.

He never asks how university is doing, never phones me.... anything.

Whenever I mention it to him, he makes me feel like I'm 14 again.

Feel like crying Cause I am so sick of it all the time. Nothing I do is right.

I have one of these so I sympathise. It is hard but try to rise above it. You are doing your uni course for you, not him. Gaining approval from someone like this is like bashing your head against a brick wall, it is nice when it stops.

Perhaps go out with him for a drink so you are on neutral ground, no houses and standards to sit and pick at. Then tell him, carfully and slowly how upset you are.

It took me years but I am glad I did, I now feel I have the high ground and I always now honest about how I feel.

Good luck, don't cry honey, I am sure you do a lot of great things. If you cannot please everyone all of the time just please the people that are really important like you and your DCs. xx

Thanks Blue (like your nickname btw!),
Dh also said it is worth going out somewhere on neutral ground.

He's been a great father, supported me all the way until I had my own children. Now he doesn't seem bothered by what I am doing.

We get on really well if we don't talk about certain things as well.