Would you *not* call your child by a name you liked because your mum hated it?

[Ewemoo]

I am expecting twins in January and have chosen two names me and dh agree on and like. However, when I told my mum one of them she cried out in disgust that she hates that name as the only person she has ever known called it she disliked immensely! Now, my mother is not the easiest of people to get on with and will end up telling my child that she doesn't like their name if I go through with it. Dh is all for still using this choice of name and that is she ever talks negatively about it in front of the child she will be told where to go. I don't want to be controlled by my mother but I also don't want arguments that could be avoided. Tbh dh is keener on the name than me as it has family significance for him (my mother doesn't know this as she has spent the last 6 months of this pregnancy requesting that we call one child after her!!!)

my mum didn't like the middle name we picked for dd3. it wasn't final when we told her, but she didn't know that, and still told us she hated it . As far as we were concerned, from that moment it was definitely the name.

however, it sounds like you're not all that sure yourself - which is a completely different matter

She's being unreasonable. Agree with your DH. Stick to your choice: she'll get over it by the time the child's old enough to understand name conversations.

your baby, you decide

if you like the name, then keep it

maybe you could have your mums name as a middle name?

This is the reason we did not tell anyone what we were thinking of using.

You MUST use the names you and DH like.

agree with your DH.

We didn't tell anyone the names chosen until after the birth-if they had objections it was then too late!

No, I wouldn't care what my mum thought...

Go with the name you like. They will get used to it and will love the babies so much the names wont mean a thing any more. My mil said ' oh bloody hell !' when I told her my dd1s name. May I add that this was while she was peering into the moses basket at her, the very first time she saw her. Her loss, she has got used to the name, but I will never ever forget the first words she uttered when she set eyes on my darling little Tilly. She went down so far in my estimation from that moment on ,and THAT will never change. My mum worked with someone years ago with the same name that I chose for DD2, someone that she really didnt like,it was before I was born , I didnt know the person , and I loved the name , so I called my daughter it. It has never been mentioned , and Im sure it makes no difference, my mum idolises both of them. Choosing names is so hard , if you like them , use them.Good luck .

Why tell your mum the names your are considering for your children? I just told my family the names of my children once they were born. ds has a name which could be considered a bit outrageous by certain members of my family: I phoned my mum from the hospital an hour or two after he was born and told her she had a healthy and rather large grandson called NBJBdsname and she went silent for a second and then said, oh is that one of dh's family names? Nope, we just like it, I answered. And that was that. Probably helped that my db had also opted for something faintly whacko for his firstborn, but hey, call your dcs what you want, you produced them!

We told my mum that DS would be called Zebedee throughout the pregnancy. Obviously she hated it (no offence to anyone with a Zebedee) and so when we told her the real name after DS was born she was just totally relieved that it wasn't Zebedee and didn't comment on the actual name.

I'd never tell anyone the name I was considering for my child. It only ends in disapproval, disappointment and the endless debate of names by the parents.

I named my daughter Ophelia - it's a name I've always thought beautiful and and despite my dad's refusal to call her that name, I couldn't care less what other people think.

It's nobody else's business what name you give your child. Remember, it's what you as the parents think that matters.

If you're worried about what someone else thinks about your decision over a name, are you going to fret over others' opinions on your weaning choices, educational choices, choice of T.V. programme.......Sod what everyone else thinks. Just make an educated, sane choice for yourself.

Rant over. And yes, I've had five glasses of wine and I've come from being a mother who felt controlled by every in law with an opinion on bowels movements to place settings. Hic.

I'd still go ahead with it if you like it. I know it's more reassuring to have people like the names you choose, but they're your children and ultimately it's your responsibilty to make all these major decisions for them.
My dad wants to use a shortened version of ds's name, which at the moment I will not allow. She'll get over it and once the babies are here, she won't care what they're called, she'll love her grandchildren no matter what their names are.