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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Children of drug addicts - please tell me how this affected your life.

7 replies

NeedThisInfo · 27/11/2008 07:59

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OP posts:
NeedThisInfo · 27/11/2008 08:01

I need reassurance I am doing the right thing by leaving my dd's dad. Can't take the lies any more.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/11/2008 08:06

Did you see that docu on dispatches not long ago? Mum loves drugs more than me? The children were all very angry and hurt. They seem to see and understand a lot more than you would think. You are definately making the right choice.

Maybe try seeing if you can catch it on 4OD? It would be worth a watch.

NeedThisInfo · 27/11/2008 08:09

Got to go to work -thank you for that. Will check back later.

OP posts:
juicyjolly · 27/11/2008 08:23

My sister has three children, two of which were brought up by my mum, the third boy was kept by her for the first four or five years (that was when she wasn't abandoning him at my mums, saying she was going out for the night and not returning for days,weeks or months!)

The first two children,two boys, are well adjusted, hard working lads in their early 20's.
The youngest boy has a lot of problems. He has been drinking since about the age of 12 and we suspect he is smoking cannabis and has done for a while.
He has been in trouble with the police from an early age (also about 12yrs old) and does not have any respect for authority.

What is very distressing though is the fact that we all know he loves his mum, but has had the most vicious arguements with her and has even physically fought with her!
She pretends to understand why he is this way, but then she starts on about him being a 'bad lad', so no, I truly dont think she understands what she has done to him.

The surprising thing is though, I do not think all drug addict parents are a automatically going to be 'bad parents'.

NomDePlume · 27/11/2008 08:27

I don't have any first hand experience of this but where I work (in a hospital) there is an advert for this organisation ADFAM. It is a support service for families affected by drugs and/or alcohol.

NeedThisInfo · 27/11/2008 18:51

Thanks for that, it looks useful. I am dreading him coming back here, have told him to stay away from us.

OP posts:
juicyjolly · 27/11/2008 19:57

NeedThis....I should imagine that you know you have done the right thing.
I would go so far as to guess you have given him chance after chance and each time he promises something, he lets you down again!
If he hasn't already started doing this with dd now, then I can guarantee he will.
I can also guarantee you that if your dd doesn't know about his drug use yet, she will before long. Kids miss absolutely nothing when it comes to their parents and mood altering drugs,they may be young but that doesn't mean they are stupid! There is also no doubt the lies will start affecting her too, trust issues etc.

The truth of the matter is, yes you have most probably done the right thing and even though you dread him coming back you must stick to your guns. He will get the message before to long! Then maybe

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