Men who drink too much-

[timesup]

Why??????

Absolutley pathetic.

My DH is an intelligent person but when it comes to drinking does'nt know when to stop.

Staggers around the house
Stands by the toilet door like a mime artist looking for the handle,hands swaying everywhere.
Talks about stupid things and asks me if i have uploaded the disc on the computer yet,WHAT??????????????

get a grip,what disc.
then calls me stupid.

lumps around upstairs getting undressed
no doublt will wake me up at least twice in the night going to th etoilet and banging the seat down

Snores
points out all my failings
tells me he stays out drinking rather than come home to me apparently.

then,even more pathetic is the DH that will come home on time tomorrow night,not because he is making an effort but because he is tired,
Will say the usual sorry won't happen again and sloop off.

Then comes home swearing and saying the most awful things to me,which he convinenetly forgets in the morning.

Well he won't forget what he said to me tonight in the morning.
As have sat and written a 13 page letter detailing it all and pointing out that am fed up with it and he has to make a decisin about the drink.

Lets see how he likes that with his hangover tomorrow morning!!!

Oh dear.What did he say??

Some people have a problem with alcohol. It's not gender specific. If your partner does this once a year or so, then feel free to mock him and let the DC jump on his hungover head in the morning - if it's every night then it needs to be addressed ie he needs to think about cutting down/stopping.

moondog-check out my AIBU thread about his mother coming to say.

Am past caring now I really am.

solidgoldbrass-it's nearly everynight,other than odd one when he is feeling hungover from the night before.
Or he will have beers or a bottle of red on the go which of course is perfectly normal to have with your meal.

I can fully understand women who end up hurting their partners/hubbys.

It is so frustrtaing to hear that arrogance and disdain in his tone of voice when he is putting me down.
the glazed ryes right up to your face,the spitting as he talks,reaking of booze.

I hate it.

I'm so sorry Timesup. It;'s horrible having to live with an alcoholic. Unfortunately no addicts will ever seek help or deal with their addictions unless and until they want to. So you have to seriously think about how much of this behaviour you can tolerate, and basically whether you are prepared to leave him unless he stops drinking. You may well have to end the relationship (and even then he may not stop drinking).

Thanks for the messages.
Only just last friday he came in drunk and went to sleep in the spare room and put the bed up againest the door so I could'nt get in.

Was wondering why he did that.

Then came downstairs and realised our broadband connection is plugged in in the spare room,he had unplugged it so I could'nt get on the internet.

He knew I would be looking to sit up and come on mumsnet etc .
I found that a really nasty thing to do.

I have tolerated it for so long it has become normal ,but don't want it to become normal for my children,no way.

Hence the anger.

what was he like pre alcoholic?

you need to learn about alcoholism... it will save you lots of time and heartache.

He may apologise profusely - but he won't change for you or make a decision re the drink so easily. He won't likely take much notice of a 13 page letter in the longer term either. You've put up with his behaviours for so long that its become "normal" for you. Your role to him is one of enabler. Many women whose men are alcoholic often end up as their enablers.

How many people in your own family know about his drink problem?. Very few I suspect. Have you also made excuses for him in the past and have drunk with him in the evenings?. Does he look for any excuse to drink and or have a party?.

If you have children they are being exposed to all this as well even if they are not directly seeing him stagger around. They are picking up on all the unspoken bad vibes between you both. Growing up in a house too where one parent is alcoholic is bad news for children.

Would suggest you take a look at Al-anon's website.

You can change how you react to him and his drink problem. You are only responsible for your own self and your children ultiamtely - not him.

here here attila