Is it possible to have close platonic friendship with a member of the oposite sex?

[isit]

Not and acquaintance you get on well with, but a close friend, who you confide in and have fun with?

Until recently, I would have said of course it is, but lately, I'm starting to think that the things that make him a good friend also make him attractive IYSWIM.

e.g. DH is not a traditionally attractive man, but to me he is, because (cheesy) I know his inner beauty

So doesn't the same thing happen if you have a good friend, the closer you get, the more you know about each other, the more time you spend together, the more fun you have, the more you rely on each other, gradually, you grow on each other and the friendship becomes something else. Is that inevitable/usual?

of course! i'm bisexual and that would mean i was doomed to a life of only sexualised friendships otherwise wouldn't it!?

No, I don't think so. One or other of you will almost certainly (even without acknowledging it to yourself) fancy the other.

Not sure about that Tinker. I think that a lot of my male friends are very attractive, but they are not compatible with me. Some are in long-term relationships now, but others are still single and we give each other advice on all sorts of things. I think from 2 of my close male friends, I have more respect from them for NOT being an ex or having declared any kind of love for them. And they both know that I'm happily married and would never make a move, no matter how pissed I was.

We've shared lots of things, we've even slept in the same room (slept in the same bed with one of them), but you have this boundary that neither of you crosses and although it's never been discussed by any of us, we know exactly where we stand.

I love having male friends! And to dh it poses no problem at all.

If he were to have female friends, perhaps it might be different. If the friend were an old one he has known for years I'd be ok about it, but other than that, hyprocritical as it might seem, I wouldn't be too happy about it.

see the old friend thing doesnt work for me either though. when i met dh his best friend was a woman - married, 10 years older than dh, 3 kids - they had a slightly odd relationship that seemed to work while he was single, but when I came along, it just didnt. (Very flirty, intimate although I am told nothing actually happened).

Didnt work from my side as I felt really odd about what their friendship was really about, and didnt work for her as she wanted him to do all his confiding etc in her and it felt like there were too many people in the one relationship.

maybe that would work for some, but didnt for me.

I think you can have the boundary but it won't stop the desire. And I think it'll usually be male fancying female. Ican't think of one genuine platonic relationship I have/have had where there isn't/hasn't been a frisson. It may be quashed and never ever acknowledged but it's certainly there.

I don't agree. Maybe I am a munter but I have 2 lovely close male friends. Both friendships have lasted through thick and thin (and relationships). There has never been anything between us. I think many women are overly threatened by their dp's friends and attempt to push them out, it's very controlling.

I'm with Harry on this "they'll still wanna nail you"

I love that film. I watch it when sick.

guess i am controlling then (at least where that one friend was concerned).