How many of you had another baby after a reconcilliation?

[Kally]

I did. I had a late life baby after my husband had an affair. It wasn't immediately after but I fell pregnant and was really surprised. We'd reconciled and were trying to make a go of it, our two older DD's were teenagers.
To be honest it was the begining of the end and her birth (once the WOW thing had worn off) things went quickly downhill and reverted back to the old ways, and I was even more tied up than before to deal with it.
I am not sorry, the opposite really, as we eventually divorced and me and DD are just fine and two older children are grown up and independant. But it did not strengthen the marriage, it made the stress cracks even bigger.
Has anyone else thought another baby would make things work? I know its a common thing but wondered really how much it actually works out for couples.

I'd be wary of the "elastoplast baby" approach. I was my parents' attempt, and it failed.

Didn't work for me either. I was the one that had the affair (biggest mistake of my life) and had the baby about 2 years afterwards (other children were 8 and 4). He then left me when she was 11 weeks old and my children are now 16 (on Saturday), 11 and 7. Saying that, my youngest is the love of my life (as are the other 2) and they all kept me sane while going through the break-up.

Looking back, she was the elastoplast baby but, unfortunately, it didn't for me although me (and ex) wouldn't be without her.

I've never heard that expression before 'elastoplast baby' awww.

I've seen it happen so many times. I must admit we weren't contemplating another baby, and even tho I knew my marriage was crapp I though 'I want this' my ex even tried to persuade me not to go ahead with it, but I felt very selfish and had always wanted another baby (had problems all along with miscarriages) and it was almost like a 'present'. I can't tell you how smug I felt.

I am not sorry and she was the cherry on the cake for me. My other two older children adore her as well so in that way I didn't have any regrets whatsoever.

I often wonder 'Godforbid' if I hadn't had her where I would be. I wouldn't change anything (perhaps I would have left with her a bit earlier, that's the only thing I would change)...

Well, we did concieve a second child, a year after my partner admitted he didn't love me, anymore.

It was a very hard year,filled with hurt and anxiety. I was so keen for a sibling for our daughter, but my partner wouldn't even discuss it. In the end, I convinced him that she would really benefit. Eventually, he agreed (purely to meet her needs, not mine) and we now have two lovely children (aged 2 and 4). Luckily, he adores them both and it is very obvious that the kids love each others' company.

We still have a functional relationship (under the same roof/shared financial and practical responsibilites) but he isn't interested in an intimate relationship with me. I guess that's been the cost of completing our family. As with much of life, there's a gamble in these big issues...

DH and me split about 5 years ago, we were apart for just over a year and then got back together, we've been back together for nearly 3 years now and have since got married, had DS2 last December and am 32 wks pregnant with DC3. I have to admit we both did a lot of growing up in our time apart and got back together a million times stronger than we were before. DS2 was stillborn and that brought us closer still. I admit that it doesn't work for everyone and agree that there were reasons we split in the first place but we worked through these to be together. We're one of the lucky ones though

Oops so glad it worked out for you. Yes I think if you actively separate and then get back together, it is different. You both decide positively on something.

But for those who have a baby in an already failing marriage (as an attempt to strengthen it) I find it only apeals to the 'trying Mother'. Men are not glued with an effort of this kind. They will move on anyway and if the foundations are weak the stress of another baby may remove the focus initially, but eventually it makes it worse.

Even though I was older (41) when I had DD3 I thought, I should have another one because she will grow up as an only child (older kids being much older). Obviously I didn't do this, but I do feel kind of sorry for her, as if she has no close siblings (older daughter is married and abroad and son has just finished the army and abroad). Somehow, somewhere inside of me I feel as if I should have had another for her sake. Me and EH split up when she was about 4.5. I did actually fall pregnant a year or so after her birth (sudden period of fertility after years of nothing) but went for an early termination due to my age (and because I knew things were going downhill at rapid speed with me and ex). But anyway I am on my own with her (so I could have been on my own with two, at least for her). I kind of regret it...

what I find very interesting though, is that even when it didnt strengthen relationship as perhaps you had hoped, none of you regret your decision to have another baby.
Just makes me think....

oops just reread the end of your post kappy - is it having dd3 that you kind of regret?