how many of you would walk if you didnt have kids....

[mum2samandalex]

i was surprised when a few of my gfs and i confided in each other and have said we sometimes feel we are staying together for the sake of the kids and if we didnt have them we would of walked a long time ago.Thing is we dont know whether its us, dhs or the stress's and strain that children bring.

i wudda walked a zillion times.

now i am in a good position, it kinda feels great to know i could if i wanted but i really dont want to at the mo.

never say never like

Hmm, I suspect that many of us wouldn't be in a position where we consider walking if it wasn't for the strains put on our relationships. PND has defo sent mine towards the rocks many times.

We wouldn't be together now if we didn't have children together, there have been times when it has been really hard and I know the are times when both of us would have walked away had we not had something to fight for.

We haven't stayed together just because of the children but it has made us work harder having them than it would had we been childless and therefore easier just to give up and walk away.

I would probably go sooner or later without children, but for me it's not because I don't love DP but because he likes living in one place and putting down roots and I really would prefer to wander the globe and live all over the place.

If I didn't want to stay with DH any longer I would leave, staying together for the sake of DC isn't healthy for anyone.

It is wrong to only stay together for the children - but having the responsibilty of changing their lives certainly makes you work harder and think deeper about what is really important.

I think i would have walked after my h affair if it had not been for the dc - but now i have reached a point that someone else said - i am here because i want to and until that changes i will stay. If i was selfish i would only think about what i wanted but children do not allow you to do that - one day you have to explain to them that you may have made a mistake.

But i would also never say never.

There are times where in haste i might have if it wern't for the children.

I stayed with exH way too long because we had DD and DS. I now have DS2 with DP and I'm looking forward to when they are all grown up and left home so DP and I can have each other all to ourselves. I'm so glad I walked that first time.

I stayed for the kids...
Now my kids are grown up and they say I shouldn't have. They suffered throughout. I have one younger child from the same marriage and I brought her up on my own, we divorced when she was about 5, and she was like a mad thing whilst we were together trying to 'hold it together' - it affects them badly. Now - 5 years down the line - she's completely changed because I have 'removed the rotting element' that caused so much disquiet and contemp in the house.
How can you raise kids properly, in harmony and peace, with a safe and loving environment if you hate being with each other? All that wasted energy on trying to keep things peaceful and balanced when you know it's impossible.
Instead of the children being the focus, the ailing partnership is the main concern and all the kids get are the left overs. sorry, if I could I would have walked out long long ago, (but then I wouldn't have little DD, so I should shut up really)

Having the dc certainly makes you try a bit harder to make things work.

I would def not be with my h now if the dc weren't around but I am not saying we are together for the sake of the dc.

I was brought up in a marriage like that so know first hand that it doesn't do the dc any good.

But it would be wrong to walk away from a relationship, especially when dc are involved, without being able to say, hand on heart, that you really tried to make it work.