For the last three years I have been very worried about the relationship of my brother and sil. They are not married but have been together for 10 years and have one ds aged 2 and another baby due in January.
They are making each other miserable. I cannot remember the last time I saw them both relaxed and happy ? must be well over three years now. They constantly push each others buttons, they row, they verbally abuse each other and belittle each other and they do this in front of anybody (including their son) and in any place ? restaurants, at parties, in the high street wherever. All sense of decorum is lost. Neither one of them seems able to put the brakes on it. Neither one will accept responsibility for the argument; it?s always the others fault and they are simply defending themselves. Neither one will stop, look at what they are doing or listen to what they are saying, step back and say ?this is nuts, we need to stop this?. This has been building up over a few years but it seems to be getting worse. Rows are more frequent, my brother walks out and my SIL is often in tears. It has, in my view, reached crisis point but neither of them will be the one to take action and, as I said, climb down and say let?s get help.
They are hurting each other very badly, I would call it abusive. More than that though, they do not hold back in front of their son, who witnesses all of this. Daddy screaming, mummy screaming, daddy storming out, mummy sobbing. It breaks my heart that they cannot make the effort to resolve it for him not to mention the second the child they are expecting.
I (and other members of the family) are desperately worried about them. I would love to write to them and tell them we are worried but I would be scared to sound interfering and patronising.
Can I ask anybody reading this (and sorry it?s long) to tell me whether a well-intentioned, non-judgemental letter to them would be advisable?
TIA