need my husband to let me vent sometimes!

[gameforalaugh]

I am an active person witrh lots going on in my life, my family live long distance and I generally get on with things.We have 3 children under 5.I have had a very different upbringing to him (This he knows about)my childhood was not very pleasent.I have been taught that when things get tough to talk about the,.He has been taught to 'forget about stressful things' so when I every so often have a venting session, this includes general moans about house, kids tiredness and lack of freedom then he looks at me as if the world has ended which makes me close up again.I am finding now after 7 years of 'shutting down' that I have lots of pent up feelings to do with our relationship and home life etc, this I feel impacts EVERYTHING we dop from sex to social life to management of the children! how can I solve this as I need to vent sometimes-I do speak loads to family but they say I need to tell him too!!!

I have to vent too. I have explained to DH when I was in a little more rational mood that sometimes I just need to vent. I don't need him to fix things or suggest ideas of how I could change stuff, I really just need him to sit there, nod and listen. Not talk or input, just nod and listen and make the odd comforting noise.

I try to explain before I start a vent that this is what I am going to do and this is what I need to make me feel better. Little of it is personal and he should not take it as such, it is life and sometimes I need to let it out.

By and large as long as I am clear about what I am about to do he understands and does not think I am on the offensive.

It is a bit of a cliche but I explained it like the Men are from mars and women are from venus book. I promised not to be the 'home improvements committee' and correct everything he does as long as he promised not to try to 'fix' everything I wanted to have a moan about.

Generally it works, not all the time but generally.

This sounds very familiar as I also have 3 children under 5 I don't work and so I have to vent to dh - our youngest is 5 weeks so the pressure has built up recently and I had a mini breakdown on fri.

I do have problems with dh wanting to fix things/ tking things too personally but if we keep talking we generally get to an understanding and feel better for having things out in the open. My advice is to communicate with your dh like you have done with us here.