DP and an argument.temper and issues?

[Eve34]

Ok not the best title but not sure how to be that brief.

DP is in the Navy - currently shore based due to knee injury.I appreciate his job is not as flexible as others, but he can wing it when he wants to.

I work 3 days a week, based from home, head office is in liverpool. So 4 times a year I have to go there. This week we have our christmas dinner so I am staying over. Thought I could have a day to myself...for a change.

Discussed with DP about child care and wondered if he could go to work half an hour later? He said it would be ok.

Last night he asked me what I was doing this week, explained again I was in Liverpool and came clean that I was looking forward to a day to myself.

He went nuts - saying I was selfish, had no idea of what my prorities should be, he went on and on, and said I was being deciteful (sp)

I waited til he had clamed and again asked about child care. He is refusing to help out at all, so it is likely that I won't get to the meeting I have to be at, or have the christmas do or day off. I can not get back in one day and don't see why I should.

DP regualrly has nights out, days off fishing and this weekend went out at 6am and returned after I was in bed.

Am I in the right to insist I go? His temper is an on going issue but it is his attitude towards me that upsets me the most.

Sorry I have gone on any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Eve, I'm sorry I don't have very good advice here, someone else will be along shortly who does I am sure.

But I really think you should insist you go, and he is being immature and selfish not accepting this as it is not just you having a bit of time for yourself but work as well.

Is there anyone else you could leave your dc/s with?

Hi, my first reaction was "tossser!" (your DP, not lovely you) but I thought I'd re-read as that was not helpful.

I suppose it depends on how good your relationship usually is... is he usually this bad? or could he have been hurt that you said you fancied a day off/away from the family?

If it's a work thing you HAVE to go, don't you? sorry he is being so horrible. Big bully.

bless you thank you, would as gp, but mil has just had op, and sil started new job today. Good to know I am not being unreasonable.

He is usually a great guy, although i little short tempered at times. Will talk to him again tonight :-)

Stick to your guns - seems like a bizarre over-reaction on his part if you're only asking for half an hour late to work on his part and he has "quality time" to himself. If he wins this battle, you will be completely undermined for the next one.

He should want to look after you dc anyway, whatever the occacion.
If he is still insiting he wont do it i would be tempted to even consider paying a temp nanny - and 'cut him out' of the equation. He will not like that but he is treating your work as if he doesnt really matter as much as his does.

Tell him you ARE going and he can either step up to the mark and look after his dc or you will sort it out your way.

Good luck