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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dd bfriends mum seems to be taking my dd over

7 replies

snowaddict · 22/11/2008 19:33

not sure how to deal with this is one.

last night my dd arranged a night out for me and my husband to meet her boyfriends parents. she had been going on about his mum for weeks, saying how entertaining/witty etc. she was. we went along to met them, my dd and bfriend were there as well.

the meeting was not very successful, my dh and me felt his mum was quite ignorant and liked to be the centre of attention and didnt spend much time talking to us but walked around the pub talking to her acquitances leaving her husband with us,which we felt was not really very nice has we had only just met. not only that after we had been sat together on and off for nearly 2 hours his parents went for there taxi whilst I was at the ladies and didnt even say goodbye.

Therefore we dont really want to see them again. feel it was a waste of time.

what I felt worst about was how i felt about her relationship with my dd. I got the feeling that she was taking my dd over, with her in jokes etc. being sarcastic etc.

the question is how do I deal with this hold i feel she has over my dd. my dd goes round to theres a lot especially at weekends.

OP posts:
mabanana · 22/11/2008 19:36

how old is your daughter.

JerricaBenton · 22/11/2008 19:36

How old is your daughter? Im guessing she is an adult. There's nothing you can do, you have let her make her own decisions.

Just keep being the Mum that you have been

Ivykaty44 · 22/11/2008 19:38

Oh that is sad isn't it. But if you didn't really get on then just leave things be, no need to meet up really even if they stay together for a while.

Dont mention it to your dd though, keep your feeling to yourself as it may make your dd feel uncomfottable.

If you do have to meet up again suggest somewhere nuetral - where the mother will not know the cleints of the establishment so she doesn't wander off talking to everyone.

giraffescantdancethetango · 22/11/2008 19:41

I dont think there is much you can do, if you say anything it might push her away from you.

MeMySonAndI · 22/11/2008 19:47

Well, she seems like a very sociable albeit not exactly a good mannered woman.

She may be that, but I am afraid that if you try to break the "hold" she has "over" your DD you are only going to distance yourself from her.

Just think of the woman as a non exactly pleasant friend your DD has, she is the mother of her boyfriend, which doesn't mean she is becoming a mum to her.

snowaddict · 22/11/2008 19:54

thanks for the words of advice my dd is nearly 18, so is an adult. and her own person. just is hard to accept has my dd spends so much time there recently.

OP posts:
JerricaBenton · 22/11/2008 19:57

The exciting varnish will wear off eventually snowaddict. Shes probably in love, and seeing everything in that pink and fluffy way just now, everything feels fab to her!

Just avoid the incredibely rude mother at all costs lol. And get in there first, and invite the BF to yours for xmas dinner!

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