I'll keep it as brief as poss.
My dad is a crap dad. Was in contact with him until I was about 18 then grew up and realised what a shit dad he was. My sister is 9yo than me and not on speaking terms with him. My bro is 7yo than me but due to shitty circumstances he doesnt speak to neither my mum, my sis or me but speaks to my dad. It is messed up.
I don't often think about my cut ties with my dad (although I do about my bro as he has dcs that I miss - tried to get in contact a few times but he never responds) but I have been thinking about them all this week as there is a family Christening on Sunday so have been preparing myself for the emotional onslaught.
A couple of years ago I was at my friends house and she mentioned that she had been speaking to an ex-neighbour of my mums whose mum was v.good friends of my mums. This woman lived there as well and our two families were really close. My mum was a single mum with just my brother and sister then and my mum and dad were already divorced. So this woman mentioned to my mum that my brother and sister were my dad's kids and that I had a different dad and when my friend argued, this woman was adamant that she was right.
I was in shock and rang my mum asking what she meant. My mum seemed shocked too and explained (as I had previously been told) that my mum had taken my dad back for a short while and that is when I was concieved. My mum divorced my dad because he battered her and stole off her leaving her penniless with 2 kids. He then married someone else, had another kid and got divorced before my mum took him back for this 'fling' .
She then told me that the reason for this rumour was that my dad had been telling everyone that my mum was putting it about a bit. In fact my mum, who had had her first 2 kids at age 18 and 20, was divorced by the time she was 24, had lost both her mum and dad by the time she was 23 and had to have her thyroid taken out as she had ballooned in weight due to thyroid issues, was by this time feeling much better about herself.
She was 26/27, had got back into her skinny jeans, her kids were in school so wasn't tied to the house and had loads of mates so was going out all the time. No doubt she might have had a couple of partners if she was out on the town on a weekend.
My mum said that my dad, being the arsehole that he is, would not have taken responsibility of calling himself my 'dad' if there wasn't a chance I was his.
But there is part of me that is thinking that if this woman who said I wasn't my dad's kid was so close to my mum at this time then she might know something I don't??? Why would she say it?? I'm just confused.
I want to believe my mum and did do at the time but there is something there just niggling me to make sure it is 100% true.