Am I being unreasonable to expect friends to actually turn up when we've agreed to meet?

[toomuchcoffee]

Just spent the morning bending over backwards to meet 2 friends, both with kids, only to be stood up by them BOTH! One decided she couldn't really be bothered to go swimming as arranged and the other forgot. I was left waiting at the pool (like a lemon) with swim kit and toddler. I only found out what was going on when I phoned them! Should I interpret this as them telling me I'm not worth the effort, or should I just put it down to experience?

Different people have different attitudes to this kind of "date". I bust a gut to get there on time, and I have a friend who would be late or change her mind at the last minute and not think it a problem. She wouldn't think it a problem if I did it to her either.

It just helps to work out which people are which!

YANBU. I would be livid.

would be annoyed, it's just rude. the one who forgot is slightly less rude than the other though.

YANBU but don't take it personally, they probably just have 'toddler brain'. Makes idiots out of the best of us.

Can't help feeling like a bit of a mug. I probably need to develop a thicker skin, but am now questioning whether we're really such good friends at all. Fruitful ? you are probably right though, some people have different attitudes, so maybe I need to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I really don't think there is any excuse for that. I wouldn't dream of just not turning up if I'd arranged to meet someone! they could have at least let you know (especially the one that hadn't simply 'forgotten').

Yes people have different attitudes to these things but to leave someone standing like that is rude and very selfish IMO.

YANBU. I would be fuming and would not arrange to meet them again.

yanbu
it is bloody rude
hope you had a nice swim with your toddler anyway

Thanks guys. Makes me feel like I'm less of a thin-skinned silly cow. Really appreciate your thoughts. xx

YANBU - i have one friend who is totally disorganised and it really gets on my nerves.

totally not on.

I'm sorry but in my book there's no escuse for that kind of behaviour, it's just plain discourteous rude and ignorant. As my mother would say, they haven't been brought up properly!

Even if they'd found something better to do, or simply couldn't be bothered to turn up they could at least have done you the courtesey of phoning you to at least try to make up some sort of plausible lie in the interests of maintaining some semblence of social etiquette!

I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity where friends are concerned. Keep a close circle of trusted friends who you know would never treat you like that. As they say, with friends like them, who needs enemies!

I hope you and you little one still had a good swim.

toomuch that is crap behaviour. Don't know the way around this. Probably I would file them as 'casual aquaintances' and suggest you meet in the pool next time. That way if they dont show you have not wasted time.

Oh and I might even have ahd a little cry at home but only a little one. So if you did this, that would have been my reaction aswell!

YANBU. I am as disorganised as they come so I might forget but I would then be mortified and apologise. I would certainly never just decide not to show up without contacting someone to let them know. Don't make any arrangements where you need to rely on them in future, just stuff that you can go ahead and do anyway.