It's been ages since I was even interested in anyone properly. I've two children and haven't been with anyone since I left ds2's dad (or he left us - not sure) about 2 years ago.
Lately I've met a few nice people and there has been some friendship and some attraction, and I am starting to get 'offers' as it were - I'd like to be with someone, but I don't want to give myself to the first person who asks iyswim. I want to do it right this time.
There is one man I've liked a lot for almost 3 years now, but he has a girlfriend who lives a long way away, and he has said he would like to be with me but he hasn't finished with her and I'm not sure if he is going to. So nothing can happen there, although I'd really like it to - once he is free of course, which might not happen.
Someone else has just come out of a divorce - well he's still in the middle of it - and is a lovely bloke but I don't think he's the one for me.
Another guy has recently broken up with the mother of his child, and again is lovely but doesn't set me on fire iyswim - he's nice but I don't feel that special thing.
He's a bit younger than me as well.
Finally we have the fantastic older man who is with a girlfriend and even has a wife somewhere in the background - they've been properly separated for yonks - and he blatantly asked me to have an affair with him last week. I do fancy him but somehow am not enthralled at the prospect of being someone's bit on the side - I need a man who respects me and won't just swan off when he fancies someone new.
I feel very confused. It's been so long that my hormones are going mad, but I don't want to mess things up yet again - my mother says she'd prefer it if I never had another relationship, as it's far too complicated for her (!) and I do feel some responsibility to choose the right sort of person if I did get involved.
I just drove to my lovely friend's house (the one who is still with the long distance girlfriend, but keeps hinting) and sat in my car outside it, wanting to go and tell him to make his mind up, as I can't hold out forever. But of course I just came home. It feels awfully presumptuous to even talk about it - he doesn't belong to me. But with all these offers I just want him really and I'm afraid I might let my guard down and go out with someone unsuitable because I am so lonely.
Someone give me a slap, please. I don't know what to do.