Bit upset about this one - my Mum smells.

[nickytwotimes]

She is a heavy smoker and has always had a wiff of fags about her, but she smells really strongly of it since she has moved to a smaller house.
I have tried to broach the subject, but she just doesn't seem to care.
I avoid going to her house because I come back stinking event hough she doesn't smoke when I am there.
Ds is 2 and he smells too when he has been with her even thought she assures me she doesn't smoke near him.
What can I do?

smokers smell of smoke, theres not a lot youcan do.

if she is interested in cutting down ( which in itself is bullshit but some smokers think that way) then maybe you can encourage her to smoke at the back door or outside.

the physically having to move to go and have a cig might be a deterrent and help to cut down.

otherwise than that - its plug ins!

I'm an ex-smoker myself - I think that makes me even more sensitive to it.

Being a smoker myself this is a hard one, one that I am highly aware of... I wash my hair daily - shower daily and change my clothes right down to bra every day - I hate it and am in the throes of trying to give it up, patches/gum/tips you name it I have tried it. Still trying.
My boyfriend is a non smoker and when he comes I air the house out completely and don't smoke, as I know he doesn't like it (worst scenario was that he had a cigarette just to join the Romans!) that is why I make the extra effort for him. That is why I am desperately trying to stop. It isn't easy.
People that are heavy smokers can't smell that smell as strongly as a non-smoker... It IS a big shame amongst smokers. I know I am one of them.
She wouldn't stop then? Any chance of seeing if she wants to stop, sometimes it can be the straw that breaks the camels back... perhaps tell her (BUT NICELY) that there is soo much help out there now... Or at least that she should try not to smoke at all when the babies are about. Sorry for you... really, I apologise as a smoker myself.

Thig is, I don't mind the just-had-a-fag smell too much, it is the staleness that my Mum has that is horrible and as I say has only really been noticable since she moved to a smaller house.
Also, she puts stubbed out fags in her pockets. Yuk. I have said to her "Mum, have you got a ciggie in your pocket? It's quite strong. I'll stick it in the bin for you if yo ulike." ANd she declines.

i think you have to change her smoking pattern. thats all there is to it really

Oh my word, I was thinking of posting a very similar thing.

I HATE going to my Mum's for exactly the same reason. She's in a small house too, and smokes indoors and it reeks, even though she doesn't light up when I am there - and the only reason she doesn't is because I made a big point of telling her how foul I am finding the smell of cigarettes since I've been pregnant. I come home stinking. In fact, I've just brought round some stuff that she's been storing for me and my DP has had to put it in the garage to air off because it stinks so much.

Now I'm stressing as to what to do when the baby comes. I really don't want her holding the baby if she's recently been smoking. That makes me sound REALLY mean, but I don't want my baby breathing in the fumes! We had to when we were kids, she used to smoke in the house, the car etc etc and my school uniform used to reek. But how can I say that to her? She doesn't wash her hands when she's had one either, and handles food.

Personal hygiene is another issue too. She doesn't use deodorant and when she gets up in the morning she doesn't have a shower or bath, only washes her hair! So there's another smell about her too which is far too sensitive to broach.

God, I sound like a right evil moany bitch, but when she was round here the other week I seriously had to get the air freshener out after she'd gone

As a smoker I can tell you that there's nothing worse than the smell of a stubbed out fag, even if you put it back in the box, in your bag, it stinks the whole bag out... so in your pocket.. yes, I agree it is unbearable smelly. I wouldn't do that...

Thing is, older people are unaware of how un PC it is these days. Smoking is not in vogue anymore, it's considered a discusting habit but they don't undertand that.
I think, as me, I would totally accomodate anyone who didn't want to be in that environment, do my very best to make sure I didn't smell, smoke, pass on the smell of, etc etc. I go to great lengths with non-smoker boyfriend.
I always wash my hands after a ciggie, shower every night as I can't stand the smell on my hair at night...ugh... a slave to it, and can't stop (but trying). But you do have every right to say about it...

Thanks for the feedback y'all.
I will keep dropping the massive hints.
Not really much else i can do.

stubbed-out fags really really stink, with that hideous stale smell. that'll be why. Why is she carrying them around?!