urgent advice required please need to action in next 30mins

[nightmarehell]

My h has sent me an email forwarded from his work system to back up his reason for going for a drink with a colleague from his previous workplace looks very dodgy like a cut n paste job.

I have tel no of this person I want to ring them to verify this thought I might say something like "hello this is x, are you meeting x tonight because I am in london today bit would not meet him to catch train home tonight if so. unable to contact him as he is on a training course"

do you think this seems casual enough without sounding desperate?

can't follow him from his office as not near london and have a 3 year old dd

Thanks

lmao stepford!!

I did leave a message on persons answering machine he was not able to answer the call and I have spoken to my husband my telephone rants emails and texts forced him to leave a meeting to talk with me.

we will talk again this evening.

like all relationships this one is very complex. I would never threaten to leave the marital home the law is in my favour on this one whatever happens i am sahm anyway so no income of my own.

however this concludes I at least want the comfort that the right decisions have been made for the right reasons and we can all begin to move forward somewhere wereever that decision takes us.

I learnt a long tome ago that in relationship difficulties the solutions are never black and white those of you who have been there will know what I mean.

For those of you who are in stable relationships I hope you never have to experience the issues I am facing at the moment but if you do you will find that the answers are never ever easy or black and white

I hope you manage to come through this and do what s best for all concerned. xx

ooopps I needed to explain more.. but had to pop out. back now. if she gives him a big hug and tells him she loves him etc when he comes in.. she will be able to smell on his clothes any female smaells.. when she tells him she loves him.. she will see the look on his face!

I've been in this situation.. it's not fun.

If he's playoing about he will not expect this behaviour.. not a glass of wine when he comes in.. she will catch him off gard in the convosation!

Nm
I have been in a similar situation and it stinks - those who say just talk to him have obviously never been there !
Like you I gave my H ample opportunity to split amicably and be with the OW - he however preferred to play games and lie to both of us - like you I had my suspicions and of course I confronted him over and over and he continued to lie, to make me feel like I was losing my mind, calling me paranoid and accusing ME of ruining things!
To my eternal shame - I made similar phone calls and even drove around looking for him with my then 4 year old in the car
Of course it never solved the problem or gave me the answers I so desperately wanted and needed
2 years on I am afraid he continues to play games refusing a divorce or any discussion - but I am now ina better place - I truly no longer care where he is or with who - but it was a long hard process ...
I have no advice I am afraid other than to do what you feel you need to and eventually it will come to an end...just wanted to let you know that some of us have been there and we do understand

Thing is he could get all defensive and not cancel drinks, could say you are being paranoid , give me a break, usual shite.

macdoodle, he sounds fucking awful and I am glad you are free of his mindgames now (at least in your head)

h on way home the man who he said he was having drinks with arrived at his office I have spoken with him and confirm it was the same guy on mobile answering service.

I do feel stupid now but have reason to it is just over 4 weeks since my h affair has actually been discovered ie had enough concrete evidence to confront him and get him too admit it.

Things are still a bit raw I think however BCNS you are so right will hug him when he comes in even though I know other women is still overseas.

Macdoodle my heart goes out to you it is comforting that you have/are going through a simlair process. Can I ask you do you still live under the same roof if so do you have sep bedrooms. I do not know which way our relationship will go but if it ends I just can't imagime still residing together do you still eat as a family do his laundry etc etc how do you manage christmas god that does not even bare thinking about!