Dh tried to have sex with me while i was asleep.

[mamakim]

Does anyone have any experience of this? He claims he was asleep and dreaming about having sex. He's a fantastic husband but i'm finding this hard to forget. Years ago i was raped by a 'friend', it started when he came home and i was sleeping. So you can see why when i woke up and dh was starting to.. well you know, from behind (spooning) it brought back horrible memories. I just told him to get off me, half asleep, then went back to sleep. I've been having nightmares about being raped ever since. I have told dh all this and he feels awful. Does anyone have any advice?

Apologises for no paragraphing, i'm on the internet on my phone and don't know how to.

Is this the first time he's ever done anything to push the boundaries of what you're comfortable with? It's possible that it was a sub-conscious act if it was just this once. If not, maybe he is too sexually aggressive. Only you know that, really.

Have you ever had counselling for the rape?

go and see a counsellor about the rape; or try EFT (emotional freedom technique) which can be excellent for clearing emotional trauma - see here for more info.

Agree with posters here- you sound like you have a loving husband who is horrified to have upset you. I think maybe you do need some help to put your experience behind you though- good luck x

I'm very sorry for what you have been through in the past.

Yes, it is entirely possible that he was dreaming and acting it out. DH does this, particularly if he is stressed or over-tired. Sometimes it's just talking in his sleep or general thrashing about. Other times he acts out what he dreams. This can quite often be sex. I know he's asleep because he's very 'fumbly', he will talk to me if I ask him something but will be vague and often not make sense. Plus, if I roll him over he starts snoring straight away.

He finds it extremely embarrassing and feels terrible when I tell him.

It must be very hard for you to separate the two events in your head.

there was a documentary on last week or week before about this it is actually a condition but cant remember what it's called but just to put your mind at rest that your husband isn't trying to hurt you. see doc if it continues