I don't think my husband likes my bump!

[hungrierhippo]

I hear of men who find pregnant women incredibly sexy and love the whole blooming process. Sadly I don't think my husband is one of them.

He's loving and caring and is thrilled about the new baby (our second) but just doesn't seem to find me very attractive at the moment, which is making me blue.

We do still have sex but, to be honest, he seems to do his best to not look at me or touch me too much during the process. If ever there was a man lying back and thinking of England I think this might be it!

I tried to talk to him about it but he just takes it as criticism of his performance and, whilst not admitting it, doesn't deny it. He doesn't really like touching my bump either, even to feel the baby kick.

My body has never been great to be honest (size 16, massive arse, baby belly) but he always seemed to like it before.

Maybe I'm being sensitive as I feel like such a hulking great lummock at the moment. Can someone make me feel better please!

You poor thing. How was he with 1st preg? I think with 2nd time round we are all alot more aware of things that we weren't in 1st pregnancy like maybe he's worried about the effect sex has on baby (I know none, but men......) Maybe he's scared that when this baby arrives he'll get even less attention and feels like he'll lose a part of you when there are 2 children to look after. Is he jealous at extra attention and care you get from others? Maybe he just a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Money worries?
Could be a million things, but it's probably not YOU.

My DH is exactly the same as this. he doesnt like the idea of a baby inside me and will feel it reluctantly. Sex was of the radar a bit and have found he is much more receptive to positions where the bump isnt in the way etc.

My DH is really excited about the baby but he has made comments about how he misses proper cuddles etc with me, i can curl up next to him on the sofa etc. It can make me feel a bit unattractive but I realise now that physically its harder for him to get close to me. im three days overdue and he is now asking the baby to come out so he can have a cuddle with it but also comments that he wants to wrap his arms around my waist in bed!

I dont take it to heart because pregnancy has changed what i like too, my boobs are v v sensitive so they are off limits to him and that must be quite a wrench for him!

My dp was the same. We still had sex when preg and everything was fine, i just think that he preferred me not preg. I can totally understand this to be fair. Not all men find pregnnacy bellies attractive and whilst my dp was still affectionate etc i just think he found me more attractive not preg.

I wouldnt take it to heart. Even i think sex is a bit funny when you are heavily pregnant as its almost as though there is someone else there!

To be honest he's quite squeamish about sex or women's health generally! He doesn't really like talking about it very much and I can honestly say that in the 15 years we've been together he has known about my period about 3 times .

I can't remember what he was like the first time round, but he was very reluctant to have sex with the baby in the room after he was born! I think he also (although would never say) found it difficult when I was breastfeeding and our sex life certainly got much better once I'd stopped.

He can't possibly be jealous about the attention and care I get from others because I don't get any!

My DH never said he found me more or less attractive when PG. I am certain he would have said he found me more attractive if that HAD been the case, so I suspect he found me less so.

He also didn't seem as keen as I wanted him to be about feeling the baby kick either.

We didn't discuss it as (see above) I think I knew what he was feeling and didn't want to hear him say it. We still had sex though - he wasn't going to be put off THAT easily

Not much I can say for comfort is there - except that it did all get back to normal and the great thing is that he still loves my ancient, saggy post-3-babies body.

Oh one thing that helped was that I HATE going on top, but when pg that's about the only way we could do it, which pleased him greatly.

I think that maybe the problem, I think he'd much rather he was

Without being overly graphic, we've never seemed to master the spoons position because my arse is as unwieldy as my bump!

Hippo, my husband was the same. When I was pg with dd1, he was away (army) from when I was 4 weeks until 20 weeks, then I thought I looked quite good - big boobs, small bump etc plus he hadn't had 'it' since conception but he just cringed whenever I made advances and just gave me a hug and slap on back, ruffled hair, kissed me on the forehead like a child FFS!! He was having none of it and I was . We didn't have sex until dd1 was about four months so he had gone THIRTEEN months without. I felt a bit hurt and rejected but coped with it at the time and just got on with life/pregnancy. I think some men are just like this because you do seem to read about all the others who fancy their pg partners and keen to have sex all the way until the end of the pregnancy.

Try not to take it too hard, it's not a rejection of you, really. Just the pregnant you! A few months after the baby comes you will relight the spark again. (((hugs)))