Sorry, this is a rather long but please bear with me. And yes, I'm a name changer. This bloke and I have been friends for many years. I went out with his best friend for a while, we split up but stayed friends so was still seeing said bloke on a regular basis. He and I got on like a house on fire but he was not a looker and I was pretty and vain (no longer either!) so I decided I wasn't interested in him and went out with a series of vacuous pretty boys. He then started seeing a woman and subsequently married her. I was quite upset about him getting married so I made some lame excuse and didn't go to the wedding. They moved to the other side of the world, had some children and I got on with things here but still thought of him fondly.
Over the years, I had a few boyfriends but never married. Then one year (and this must be nearly 10 years ago) he came back to the UK on his own for a brief visit and one drunken night we had the conversation where he asked me why I didn't come to his wedding. So I told him it was because I was upset about him marrying. Then he tells me that he's been crazy about me for years but didn't dare ask me out. My world was turned upside down. We ended up kissing (I know, I'm ashamed) but went no further (he is married after all), then he went back to his life.
This repeats over several years. Every time he comes over, we somehow connive to be on our own together. We never actually have sex but are very passionate. Our friends have absolutely no idea about what's going on between us. I've never told anyone.
The last time it happened was about 5 years ago and it was all a bit too much for me so I didn't see him the last few times he's visited. Since then, I had a brief relationship and now have a child but am no longer with his dad.
This weekend, he is back in the country again, on his own. I decided enough time had passed and that it was pretty safe for me to see him - it was lunch, I'm driving, I have a child with me, nothing can possibly happen. Halfway through lunch one of my other friends turns to me and says, gosh did I know, the bloke and his wife are getting divorced. It's all very amicable and they have decided together to split up.
I am in shock. When we left the restaurant, I gave him a lift, but nothing was said. We didn't know what to say to one another. I don't even know if he knows I know that he and his wife have split up. He is only here for a few days for work and then going back. I wanted to say something but it was only a short drive, my kid was in the back (although they are too young to understand much) and I didn't know where to start. So we made small talk.
So, my question is, what should I do now? Should I seize the day? Email him and say I'd like to see him? Or should I wait for him to contact me or fate to take its course? Maybe he's not interested now it's all possible but if I don't ask I'll never know will I? We live on different continents anyway so the whole thing is utterly ridiculous anyway. Aargh!
If you've kept reading till this point, thank you! Any thoughts gratefully received.