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[nuttygal]

I'm wondering if i'm mentally ill. I have problems contaiing my temper when my x/bf upsets me and i say nasty things. i then beg him to forgive me and it goes on.

He said last night that he thought I needed to sort myself out and get professional help. He then said I wouldn't do it when I said that I couldn't ring my gp until Monday morning at the earlist.

I rang the samaritans last night and they calmed me down, i was panicking so much. I was so lonely. They said I was probaly stressed and not mad if I had no history of mental illness ( I do not have but I did use to have a bad temper) but to get a second opinion if I felt worried - as well as to call back if I felt distrssed again.

my x/bf does know how to push my buttons admittely but I've siad some foul stuff to him. so far he took me back but the other week he sent me an email to explain myself which I didn't so he told everyone he knows what i said. naturally they don't want to know me. is it possible to get help for this sort of thing? Even if it is too late for this r'ship as i suspect. it can't be healthy can it?

im of the opinion thaty those who know us well enough, hold this power. however if you do feel like you have a problem then you should get help, is it just your bf who makes you feel this way?

People often say terrible things to each other when they are breaking up. There's nothing abnormal about that. It was bad form for him to go and share your private rants with third parties. Does your temper flare with other people or just this knob of an ex boyfriend?

Seek out people who see the good in you. Avoid your ex.

Good luck and change your Mumsnet name!

He says that I'm uncontrollable and that I justify/vindicate my bad tempers because he did some stuff when we first got togehter that I didn't like - I did mention all this stuff but I've got kinda fixated on it so it comes up every time we've argued and he's probably bored with hearing it. I think I get frustrated when I'm not allowed to speak - he often continues to talk over me when I'm giving my pov. If i get angry as I did last night, I text nasty things then regret it, cry, beg and get panicky that this time it's for real.

He says that I'm holding him back since I'm so damned indecisive and he's going to move on with his life. I get frustrated and point out why this or that didn't happen as he'd envisaged, get cut off and then it all begins. Yet he can be loving. Why do I get so nasty?

I feel ok at the moment since other friends have checked I'm ok (I do get annoyed wiht other people but not to the extend I feel I can be nasty to xxxxx) but come tonight, I'm going to get panicky again. I feel on a bit of a tightrope. I am geninuely sorry for what i say but at the time the red mist descends. I think he's given up on me .

nuttygal is not my normal posting name but wanted to keep this a bit anon if poss.

well it seems he doesnt perhaps handle you in the best way, ive found with my dp that once ive calmed down it helps to set out ground rules, howeve IMVHO it does sound like the relationship will need a lot of work and you need to decide if u can do that