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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

have finally decided to leave.

17 replies

NewspiritsFromOldghosts · 14/11/2008 20:01

Have posted several threads before about partner and his fuckwittage. Every time we have had a blow out he has got a little better.
We had a holiday in half term which was ok but his drinking reared it's ugly head again.

Last night i was up most of the night with dd. Am shattered. Today i had a meeting with my boss where it looked like i was being laid off. Partner knew this. (i wasn't laid off but he is not aware as haven't spoken to him)

He broke a glass this week, has just left it in a heap on the side.
He does stupid things like this constantly, just ongoing low grade fuckwittage.

Have come home tonight to find that he has been home with dsd and gone back out again, he's still not back which means they have gone out to dinner and there is nothing in the house for dd and i. He's cutting off my calls to his mobile.

If i buggered off out with dd on payday and left him and dsd out he would go mental.If i get cross i will be spoilt and treating like a mug

This month i have bought all the food, paid all the bills etc whilst he has once again pissed his money away.

I have finally realised this evening that he is a selfish nobber who is never going to change.
I have wasted 5 yrs.

Am going to stay with famiy tomorrow and see what i can find to rent as soon as possible.

I'm sat here shaking and so so angry.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 14/11/2008 20:04

You have had the day from hell, I'm so sorry

MargeSimpsonMyAlterEgo · 14/11/2008 20:06

Don't think of it as 5 years wasted; after all you have dd. Celebrate! You have made the decision and a new life lies ahead. Best of luck. You will be amazed at what is out there for you.

revjustabout · 14/11/2008 20:06

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NewspiritsFromOldghosts · 14/11/2008 20:10

lord i love mumsnetters. Thank you ladies.
just having a bit of support helps.

I think i might just go to bed. And hide.

OP posts:
revjustabout · 14/11/2008 20:22

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OLIVIASMAMA · 14/11/2008 20:26

Good for you NSFOG - I made a decision similar to yours 7 years ago after a long and gruelling few years. I've never looked back and neither will you. See it through, it's worth it and the other side is a bright, happy and fulfilling place.

Buda · 14/11/2008 20:28

God what a day you've had.

Not sure of the history but it does sound like you might be better of leaving. Whose house is it?

NewspiritsFromOldghosts · 14/11/2008 20:33

HI Buda, here you are again on one of my threads, thank you.

The house is in his name but we have a deed of trust. It's worthless though as there is no equity in it since the housing slump.

I think i am just going to cut my losses and get on with it. Much better i think than to drag it all out with financial rows as well.
TBH he would have to get a loan to pay me anything and he would so not be accepted for one right now.
He doesn't know i know that his credit card has been stopped as he hasn't paid it for months.

OP posts:
beanieb · 14/11/2008 20:33

"I have wasted 5 yrs"

I know how you feel but you will not always think this. You have many years of happiness ahead of you and you have a beautiful DD from this relationship and that is such a good thing.

Stay strong and don't feel guilty because you are doing the right thing

Buda · 14/11/2008 20:36

It sounds like cutting your losses may be a sensible move.

Have you somewhere to go? How old is your DD?

inthemistsoftime · 14/11/2008 20:40

thinking of you

inthemistsoftime · 14/11/2008 20:41

have just told my oh to sling his hook, sad and can sympathise with you

FiveGoMadInDorset · 14/11/2008 20:42

thinking of you, so glad you had good news today though.

Gangle · 14/11/2008 20:45

Newspirits, you should be very proud of yourself that you have the strength to make this decision and leave for what will be a better life for you and your DD. My partner is a bit similar to yours but his behaviour, whilst generally always sh*te, has been appalling of late. Latest tricks have included paying for barely anything during my maternity leave so that I have ended up hugely in debt, inviting his mother (who I can't stand) to stay for the last week of my maternity leave which caused a horrible amount of stress and unease and, today, after my first week back at work, forgetting to pick up DS from the nanny!! You are totally doing the right thing. Better off without him. I hope to do the same. Good luck. xxx

solidgoldbrass · 14/11/2008 20:46

Best of luck. It's a rotten decision to have to make, but you're making the right one for yourself and your DD. Do make sure you get all the info possible before you actually pack and leave, though (not saying dont do it, just make sure you don't get ripped off or bullied into accepting a bad deal).

Piffle · 14/11/2008 20:50

much strength newspirits
He does sound like a candidate for the CotY award
Hope you find what you need

LucifersLeftEyebrow · 14/11/2008 20:56

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