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Original poster

Advice for a friend who has done a stupid and wierd thing

24 replies

MrsSnape · 12/11/2008 13:27

I was talking to my friend this morning who told me about something she'd done and I just couldn't think of what to say or how to advice her, it really beggers belief.

Basically she goes to this creative writing class which her husband runs. There is another woman there who she though fancied her DH and then she suspected he liked her too.

So she decided to write the woman a letter from her husband asking more or less if she'd like to see him outside of class and basically start a relationshiP!?

I asked her what the hell she was thinking and she said another friend said it would be a good idea as presumably the woman would mention it to DH and he would mention it to friend or if he didn't mention it, he couldn't be trusted etc etc...

Anyway turns out she would have got the letter last monday. She's been back to the writing class 3 times since and her husband has not mentioned it.

So she's left wandering did she get the letter? has she mentioned it to DH? Has he taken her up on it? does he know? etc etc

I said I'd ask on here because I'm gobsmacked personally.

OP posts:
mrsgboring · 12/11/2008 13:29

How very weird.

If I were forced to give advice..... no I'm stumped and generally have an answer for everything.

poppy34 · 12/11/2008 13:30

is your friend 12? frankly if woman hasn't mentioned it is probably cos she reckons your friends' dh is stark raving mad

wtf she doesnt' talk to her dh about her concerns is the real issue here

Original poster
MrsSnape · 12/11/2008 13:31

that's what I was like! It's such a stupid situation that I was going to name-change before posting it and then realised it's SO daft, people would just think I was trolling!

She does do odd things quite a bit but this takes the piss. If she mentions it to him it's going to be obvious what she's done, if she doesn't mention it, she's torturing herself wondering what's going on!

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 12/11/2008 13:32

what advice can you give?

well, she has done it hasnt she? there is no advice to give really is there, i am gobsmacked that somebody would do this. you don;t have to advice her though do you? just listen and be there for her. when/if anything comes of it.

QuintessentialShadow · 12/11/2008 13:32

she did what?????

Mind Boggles.

wannaBe · 12/11/2008 13:33

well, presumably if the woman has mentioned it to the husband he will have told her that he didn't write the letter and so is probably thinking that someone is trying to set them up. Therefore he would have no reason to mention it to his dw.

She needs to grow up.

MadreInglese · 12/11/2008 13:35

What an odd thing to do

Silly games will always come back to bite you in the arse

coppertop · 12/11/2008 13:35

If I were the woman who had received the letter I would think it was either an odd prank or think that the dh was weird. Either way I wouldn't have mentioned it to him.

If your friend thought this was a good idea then I think she might need help with a few issues IYKWIM.

ajandjjmum · 12/11/2008 13:35

If they know each other from a writing class, wouldn't the woman know that it wasn't your friend's husbands writing?

poppy34 · 12/11/2008 13:36

she'd be better off raising the subject in context of I've seen how you are with this woman and not raising the letter.

I suppose that there is a bizarre kind of entertainment to this type of thing - what I cant get over is that there are two people who thoought it was a plan - her and the friend who suggested it

DaDaDa · 12/11/2008 13:37

Sounds like a twist on Babooshka. Very odd.

On the plus side, there's got to be some material for a novel in there.

I predict that if the husband finds out he will be extremely annoyed.

poppy34 · 12/11/2008 13:41

yes cos his wife is mad as a van full of badgers

Weegle · 12/11/2008 13:42

How do some people get themselves in to such a pickle? She's backed herself in to a corner because if she now speaks to DH and he finds out about the letter it's hardly going to make her come out of it smelling of roses. anyway, didn't she go outside after the class, wouldn't it be obvious if the woman had followed through on the letter?

Flossish · 12/11/2008 13:45

wow, I think the DH would have a lucky break! Imagine if there was nothing going on at all and then they developed feelings for each other just because of this letter. Silly silly woman.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 12/11/2008 13:51

Unfair to badgers, Poppy.
You know some interesting people MrsSnape. I suggest either

  1. Woman got the letter and realised it was a set up by your nutter friend but for some bizarre reason is still coming to class.
  2. Woman got the letter and thought omg I wouldn't fancy him if he was the last bloke on the planet but for some bizarre reason is still coming to class.
  3. Woman got the letter and immediately initiated a passionate affair with your friend's DH and for obvious reasons is still coming to class. If 3 it will become obvious over time, if 1 or 2 there may be some small social embarrassment over the next few weeks but will eventually blow over. Just tell her to sit tight and do nothing.
Original poster
MrsSnape · 12/11/2008 13:53

I know I do ladyglen...

My mum actually said yesterday "what is it about you that attracts nutcases?" pmsl

OP posts:
poppy34 · 12/11/2008 13:55

lol at mrssnape's mum-but seriously whatever it is you must have rubbed some off on my dh - he is some kind of loon magnet too

Original poster
MrsSnape · 12/11/2008 13:57

lol most of it I laugh off...you wouldn't believe some of the people I've come across since my DS started school.

There's only one at the moment that is seriously stressing me out but that's my fault really, too much of a wimp to set her straight.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 12/11/2008 13:57

You know if he's teaching this class, then it puts him in a very difficult and potentially damaging situation. He appears to be making sexual advances towards a student.

What was she thinking?

Kally · 12/11/2008 13:58

Actually she deserves the torture she's in right now. She was prepared to demoralise her husband for her insecure self? If you ask me, she deserves the sweat now.

HappyWoman · 12/11/2008 14:13

And what if the womans husband actually opened the letter and is now trying to 'catch them out' too.

Weird - but with trust issues the most important thing is to be open and honest - it works both ways.

My h had an affair and at the moment there is a woman who i think is getting a bit too friendly - but instead of 'trying to catch him' i have told him. How can expect him to be honest with me if i cant tell him how i feel.

She is a silly woman and in my book the only way to put right is to tell her dh that she went temporarly mad and hope all concerned can laugh about it together.

QuintessentialShadow · 12/11/2008 18:41

Well hopefully her husband will not lose his job over this! And be banned from teaching!

MadamDeathstare · 13/11/2008 06:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAMummy · 13/11/2008 16:01

WTF??????

So basically to prove her DH is having an affair she started it for him ....... obviously the friend who gave the advice isn't a mumsnatter

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