Meeting DH's long lost father today, some advice pls about DC's

[DiscoDizzy]

DH's father left when he was 5 and were newly reunited about 3 yrs ago, occasional (maybe every couple of months) meetings at the pub is about the extent of their relationship. Anyhow today we're all going for a meal, DH, me, 2 DC's (3 & 5) and DH's father.

DH's father will probably see our DC's a couple of times per year and atm that may be the extent of their relationship.

What I want to know is, what do you think they should call him. Grandad or his name. I remember I only used to see relations once or twice per year and they were called Aunty, Uncle etc. Its just because he was estranged and DH doesn't call him dad, that makes us both wonder?

Popping out but will come back later. TIA

Bit different to your situation, but I refer to my father as "your grandfather" (don't like him; see him only for sake of children) since that's what he is technically. He then refers to himself as grandpa but I never repeat it. They already have a grandpa (my FIL) who is fab and who I have no problem calling grandpa. In my head I need to make a distinction. Ds1(5) hasn't noticed it yet, but he will in time. Then I'll have to decide how honest I am as to why I don't like him very much.

Why not introduce him as Daddy's father and then ask him what he would like the hcildren to call him?

What would your DH like?

Just to add. we had a similar situation with my FIL. He introduced himself to my son as Gampy. This felt natural and it is also what my husband refers to his Father as.

Whatever has gone on in the past he is still the children's Grandfather so i kinda think the children should be aware of this rather than just their name.

In the end though it is whatever everyone especially your husband is happy wth.

DH doesn't know what he wants them to call him and it was he who suggested I post here to see what people thought. I'm inclined towards Granda [name] so that he's called both. In my mind not just a grandad but not just his name either. Playing it down a little IYSWIM. DH is going to pick him up later so he could suggest something and see how he feels.

Anyone else any thoughts please?

DiscoDizzy, these things have a way of working themselves out, either your FIL will indroduce himself to the children and that will stick, or the children will find something to call him. As you could work out a perfect grandad name and he doesn't feel comfortable in that roll, unless you and your DH have strong views on it I would leave the DC and FIL to work it out, it will also give them something to chat about.

hmm, yeah perhaps your right. Will leave it to them to see what they come up with. Thanks again.