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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking Point???

3 replies

superflybaby · 10/11/2008 17:12

This is a long story, basically loads of stressful situtaions have happened over the last few months with drama after drama affecting our family.

I have been with my Partner for 8 years. We have a 2 year old DD. He has 2 DD's, aged 10 & 11 who up until now have been living with their Mother and only visiting us at weekends.

Their Mother has been persistently abusing alcohol and putting the Children in danger through her actions, social services & the police have been involved and she has had many, many chances to change her ways. Now we have the Children (again) but this time it is for good, providing my Partner can get residency.

Our finances are stretched as we both work & pay childcare for our Toddler, pay Child Support (even though we have the children) and do not get their Child benefit.

Our home is only 2 small bedrooms and the 2 older children are sleeping on a sofa bed in the living room.

The kids do not deserve this. Their Mother is a nasty piece of work that is for sure, she even assulted my Mother when she had to collect the Children during one of her binges.

I have been taking AD's for my own issues for over a year now and recently I have felt extremley stressed & worried with all the unfairness and uncertainty of our situtaion. There doesn't seem to be any end to it. We are just there for when things go badly. When will social services draw the line and call her unfit? It is affecting my relationship with my own DD to the point where I am seriously questionning my ability. I feel like I am at breaking point and no one gives a shit.

OP posts:
MeggyMoggy · 10/11/2008 19:18

Didn't want to read and not post. Sounds like you are having a really hard time and its no wonder you are feeling stressed.

Sleeping on he sofa isn't the greatest BUT you are doing the right thing by having them living with you and you and your dp have removed them from danger. A bed in a dangerous house is worse than a sofa in a safe house.

Could you stop paying support now they are living with you?

Anti mnetty hugs for you.

fourkidsmum · 11/11/2008 09:58

poor all of you

have you posted on the step parents thread? (sorry if that's obvious and you have!) you might get some good advice on there.

ginnny · 11/11/2008 12:40

Surely now they are living with you, you won't have to pay their Child support and you can tell the Child Benefit office they are with you now.
I think you are amazing for taking them both in like this. They are lucky to have you and your DH.

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