Communication with in-laws

[martini]

Trying to make arrangements with DPs brothers or sisters takes ages. Firstly DP has to ring/ email them which takes at least a day after when I first ask him.

Then they never return the calls/ emails. So you have to call again - sometimes 2 or 3 times. All this has to be done by proxy via DP (mainly because I think it's his job to sort out his family) Usually it ends up taking 1-2 weeks to get answers to the most mundane requests such as (yup - you've guessed it) - what shall we do for Xmas.

This always ends up causing a row (usually started by me I'm afraid as I find this a bit impolite and pretty incomsiderate.

My brother always returns calls like these within a day or so and I would too because I feel that people need to know things like this so they can make other arrangements in their lives. Over the years this issue has become more and more frustrating to me, particularly as DP thinks I am making a fuss about nothing.

Am I?

Just phone them yourself, if it is that important - or make plans without them, if they can't be arsed to get back to you.
YOu are not making a fuss out of nothing, but its not worth rowing over imo

The problem about making plans without them is that DCs would be really upset if didn't see cousins over Xmas. And this is partly why it annoys me that they don't seem to think its very important either.

I have thought of phonig nthem myself but am wondering if they would think am making a big fuss if I phone them and leave several messages. DP thinks I fuss about it too much and so maybe they would too.

what do you usually do for Xmas? who gets together, what day and where? maybe they think it will be like previous years (e.g. Xmas day at so-and-so's, Boxing day at grandma's etc), and so no need to make a fuss about it.
maybe just leave a couple more weeks - do you really need to get it sorted now?

leave it

POsted OP in middle of insomniac moment in night. Would be interested to hear any views from daytimers.