I feel unloved

[ladycark]

My husband and I went out for a meallast night and it was very enjoyable. We have 2 small children and I asked if he would get up with them this morning as they are early risers and it is always me that gets up. He agreed, this morn there was no sign of him to move when I went and asked him to get up he groaned and went back to sleep, after he complained of an upset tummy,I then volunteered to take the children to the cinema & McDonalds giving him some rest time, when we got back he was still sitting complaining that we had eaten and he hadn't. He has spent no time with the children today and when I asked him to do something it turns into a big row,he has tried to make up and asked if we could have sex tonightand could not understand when I explained how tired I was he thinks I am being selfish. Is it me or does it seem as if he is using me for sex and to take car of the children

Does anyone need to answer this question??

Well... in my previous life as a married woman I would have told you that it is him the one that has a problem and he better sort him up as you are already doing enough as to take care of yet another kid.

However, seeing things with the benefit of experience... I would say that he is in the wrong, but you also have to find out what are you doing to contribute to that behaviour. (For example taking care of the kids all day long just because he complained of an upset tummy).

I will say that if little by little you stop doing everything for him, he will eventually learn to appreciate all the work you do.

Sorry for my flippancy.

Was out at lunch with a dear friend who I haven't seen for a year. She lives abroad. Brought 2 year old ds wit hher and partner. her dp just did not see any need to take any responsibiliy for ds so me and friend could chat and catch up. She was irritated by this but did not wish to make a fuss. But he had the message that he doesn't have to take any part in keeping his ds stimulated......so he didn't.

Thanks for your advice I know what i have to do now

A lie in each at the weekend is only fair.

On my morning I do not move an inch when dd runs through. My eyes stay firmly (clenched) shut until the pair of them bugger off downstairs.

tell him that next weekend when he gets up with dcs, he can have all the sex he wants. Usually works! He's just a guy who is pushing the boundaries. They will all get away with as much as they can....I am 43 and every man has tried to get away with as much as possible. They need to be reigned in!

Absolutely what MeMySonAndI said.