How much effort does your dp or dh make on your birthday and if not much does it bother you?

[Beauregard]

[miffed]

me too probably!

Thing is you were a couple before you were parents so something was there. Only you know in your heart what you need from the relationship.

Sorry I'm probably not being much help

Thanks for replying
I really should go to bed ,am off to work in the morning, early .
I find it difficult on mn to type how i am feeling and what i want to say.See can you tell?
Oh well will give the bloody pedants something to gloat over.

Oh and i have PMT .

aw - I hope it's the PMT that's making it seem worse.

Bed time for me too - take care xx

hope you feel better in the morning, pf.

I usually feel like crap on mother's day (oh but DS made you a card a week ago at school, that's enough surely?)

I hate my birthday tbh, i always end up crying and feeling shit.

Thanks all
xxxx

night pf. if you feel you can, you should sit down and talk to him tomorrow x

night
xxx

Going to sound smug here. My DH has always bust a gut for my birthdays; imaginative, fun and spot on for 15 years.

I feel ashamed that I'm never QUITE as insightful, apposite or loony as he is at these times. Still, it's reversal of the usual arrangement.

have to say that my dh has never forgotten my birthday

i always get a card, pressie and flowers as well as a meal out somewhere just the 2 of us

we have been together 17years but there is no excuse for a husband/partner in forgetting a birthday or treating you imo

just as i always get him a card, pressie and take him for a meal as well as give the yearly BJ

lol at the yearly bj

We don't make an effort tbh. His is a couple of days after N.Year so everyone's skint and I think last year he came home with just a bttle of wine for mine. We don't forget, just both appreciate small, surprise gifts throughout the year.

Sexual favours are always a priority though (ds conceived on my birthday)

Just read through the whole post and I'm sorry you feel so down.

When dp and I first got together, for his birthday I arranged a wkend away at a fab 5 star hotel. It's the only wkend away we've ever had and we're together 9 years. After loads of years of him not doing anything for mine, I just gave up. Now I kinda appreciate not having to worry too much about b'days.

If it's any consolation my dad forgot my 18th birthday (he was serving in bosnia)

Men are all the same.

Happy birthday anyway xx

Thankyou Trixie

Feeling a bit better about it now.

lots of effort but I am fairly high maintenance (emotionally)

This year (my first with DD) we are going away for a surprise weekend and my parents are having DD. This is mainly because I was 8 months pregnant on my 30th.

I am not bothered about gifts or cost, but I like effort to be made.

Have asked for DD (10 months) to make me a card and DH or my mum will make me a cake.

One day I may realise I am a adult.

oh this is our 9th year together

my husband doesn't go to much effort, eg - chocs and a magazine one year, although that was the worst. To be honest, from a present point of view, it hasn't felt the same since we had a joint bank account anyway - it's not like one of us is giving something of theirs for the other person, iyswim. however, we're both quite tight, so i don't think neither of us are that fussed really.

and as for going out, he's the one trying to persuade me for us to have a weekend away/night out, but i'm abit of a neurotic mum, and it doesn't appeal that much

My DH is lovely on my birthday. Every year I worry that he'll forget or buy something crap, but he never does!

It was my birthday last Fri.

DH got me a hamster (well, I organised it, he paid for it), a pair of merino wool longjohns, lots of high quality chocs, wine, special teas, lovely soppy card and took me & ds out for dinner in my favourite Italian restaurant.

He always makes a fuss, he's a poppet

Shit sorry for insensitivity of my post Pelvic didn't read through thread

mine does pick out a thoughtful present, but would never think to organise a meal, or even a takeaway.

so I arrange this myself.

I completely get the point that if you do things for your DHs they will never take on these things as their responsibilities. But I like to have a nice time on my birthday, not a row, so I will admit to instructing DH when and where to make dinner reservations.

Don't do presents, USUALLY get a card (it usually a 50p one from the market). I tend to make a bigger deal out of his birthdays, but Hey Ho - not really that bothered. We've been together for 12 years and it has always been the same, we don't do Christmas presents either !
xx

My dh is absolutely fab on birthdays and Christmas & anniversaries, but I won't post details as it could irritate!

dp went away on a course for my birthday this year

i cried

christmas and birthdays he spends so much time worrying about my presemt, that he stresses me out, so i end up shouting at him to forget it... so then he doesn't bother because thats what i told him to do!!

so this year i did the same to him - not bothered.. told him to get his own present (he knew what he wanted) and i would give him the cash back

i still haven't given him the cash!!

Pelvic -I turned 40 in July and I booked with my money the only family holiday we had that year - just 3 days in Centre Parcs - I get on my birthday - sulks - picking a fight and lovely gift of - wait for it- a little set comprising:
mini tin of tea
mini pot of jam.

I'm angry - not angry - OFFENDED.

Any person who does loads for their partner and tries to create a good family life should feel pretty bad!

I think that you are sometimes best to tell parners that birthdays mean a lot to you.

My DH doesnt care about his birthday. I still make an effort but he really wouldnt mind if I did not. I make it clear that I do mind.