sad, rejected, miserable and lonely :(

[Flowertots]

I know this must sound really sad and trivial after reading some of the threads on here but it's important to me and dunno what to do.
Always had a volatile relationship with my parents and siblings but earlier this year had yet another falling out with my brother. Parents always defended his actions and I just hate them for it as he's just a bully and his actions have been inexcusable. Feel as if them criticising him will be an admission of their failure for bringing such a disgusting person into this world. Have distanced myself from them all but now the only sister who had contact with my dd has also stopped coming round even though dd asks after her ALL the time. I feel really lonely as I don't know anyone locally and every time I have something to do with my family they always tend to gang up on me and it always ends with me being heartbroken. Dd knows who they are now and don't know if I should cut them out of our lives for good selfishly for my own sanity or just continue with this crap for dd and try and build brodges so that she can get to know them.

oh thats not on, you need to assess how much damage they would do staying in your and DDs life, tbh it doesnt sound like they can be bothered with her so perhaps you would be better putting the enrgy you would waste on them into another use, i.e a hobby or attending a group where you can meet new people?

to add insult to injury they know that dd has learning problems and still never help and I recently found a lump in my breast and have so stressed. None but my sister have come to see me but my mum has been spreading the news around like idle gossip even though I asked her not to tell anyone about it. It makes me so sad that they can treat me this way

What makes your brother "such a disgusting person"?

You say your parents and siblings "gang up" on you. What do they criticize you over?

Since your whole family seems to be in agreement against you, is it at all possible that they have a point? What is the argument?

do you ever feel like you just don't belong to your family? i swear that took the wrong baby home with me.

what's the story with your brother, what does he do/say?

((((((((((((()))))))))))))))
families.

basically my brother is almost treated like the head of the household and can do no wrong. If anyone goes against him he makes their life miserable at my parents home so even though people disagree with him, they have to be seen to side with him to keep the peace. He used to steal my pocket money when we were younger and my wages when we grew up and there has always been a history of physical violence. Recently in an agrument with me he threatened to beat up my dh. My dh had nothing to do with the argument at all he also used some vile language for me aswell. To date, no-one has ever apologised and as usual, they always make out as if I must have said something to deserve it. My family runs on a culture of mob rule and tend to easily get bored of a peaceful life. Causing trouble usually involves me as I don't live at home or visit them much anymore so have been made the virtual outcast. I've also always been the easy target as left home at an early age, married outside the "norm" and was generally the black sheep of the family.

Piratecat, used to WISH I belonged to a different family and they'd come back and get me one day

so this is the latest in a long run of crap for you.

When you are in the middle of the crap, or whatever, i think it's often best to let it ride over you. Go with it. i think things always culminate in severe upset, for a reason, and then you have to make a choice about how you are going to deal with it.

it's very upsetting to feel you have noone, and i am sorry that they are so goverend by him.

Be there for your dd, and give your love to those who deserve it. You can't change him, or your family.

God your family sound unbearable. Your brother sounds a spoilt bully who has never grown up. Does he have children? A wife? A life? Who irons his shirts? Twat.

Get on with your own life and stop worrying about these people. Cut them off if you need to or just rise above them...rise right onto your tippy-toes so you that you can see over the top of their empty bullish heads and to the azure sea of your lovely future without them in your face beyond.

Your dd sounds still young enough to manage without them. Do whatever is best for you and your family. Your family are your DH and your dd. Not the shitty brother and ganging up parents. at them ganging up. Are they all toddlers? Will they not let you in their gang unless you part with your pocket money?

Does dh talk to you about it? What does he think? Is he backing you up strongly enough? If your brother has threatened to beat him up that's awful - does dh know that? have you told him and if so can he not get on the phone to your brother and ask him firmly to stay away from his (your h's - ie you) family?? I have't got the full picture obviously but are you strong together?

Do not get depressed by any of it. Families. Pass the beer nuts.