Just threw my dh out of the house for gambling £195 of money we dont have, was i right?

[ihateliars]

We've just been recently married in july and have had a really stressful fortnight, i suffered a miscarriage and i feel my dh cud have been more supportive towards me about this

but to top it all off he went in2 town this morning to "get his hair cut" and 2 1/2 hours later he comes back with a guilty look in his face

I asked him did he get the money out of the bank and he said yes he went out to the kitchen came back and handed me £140 which was in the house anyway, we had £195 in the bank and its all gone to which he couldnt provide me with an explanation, kept saying i dunno wat ur talking about blah blah blah, i got so angry with him a physically threw him out of the house and told him never to come back and i thoroughly meant it.

We needed that money as we have so many bills to pay and debts from our wedding and my head is all over the place at the minute.

Do u think i was right or is my judgement being clouded by my grief cuz i dunno wat to think?

oh ihateliars, so sorry to read this and extremely sorry about your mc. I've been there and understand how awful it is. I'm not excusing your DH's behaviour, but do understand now that men deal with these things differently to us women. It may well be that he has not known what to say and how to support you. Of course you were upset and angry, you have every reason to be however I think what you both need most of all is to talk and to grieve about your mc. Have you got any close friends you can talk to about this. Then maybe text him (rather than get into a row on the phone) and say that you were obviously upset and feel that you has not supported you after the mc. Hope that makes sense? Good luck to you x

Thank you mumoverseas for ur advice but my dh hasnt got his mobile with him and i wont be phoning him to my MIL's if thats wer he's gone, have no idea tbh and atm i dont care, just so and with him, cant believe he has did this.
So sorry for ur loss aswell xxx

If any1 else has any advice it wud be appreciated x

Sorry, no advice
Does he have a history of gambling?
Maybe the grief is affecting you both. I would say don't give up on him yet - try and talk.
Good luck

for your loss

try talking to him, it could be his grief. be open with him and don't pre judge him at all.

I know you have bills etc but honestly the first year of marriage/living together are the hardest. coupled with what you've been thru with the m.c there's a lot of streses all around.

don't give up on each other just yet - unless of course this is an on going prob?

i wouldnt say its ongoing but its happened a few times before. Am i naive in thinkin he hasnt a gambling problem? I just dont think he has but its the lies that are destroying me

Anyone who gambles money that is needed elsewhere, and does that regularly, has a problem IMO

Sorry, that was vrey short - hit post by mistake.

You need to talk to him and then together you should talk to someone else. It sounds like he's trying to bury himself in other things, but it affects both of you.

Good luck.

Hi BG

He doesnt do it regurly but he has done it a couple of times but never that much money

Sorry for your loss, but i think once you've calmed down you do need to talk. you have every right to be angry, i know how you feel about not feeling you have support from your DH after your miscarriage i had the same experience with my xDP back in march, (1 reason we split tbh). You both do need to talk tho.

Hugs xx

Ive just had a phonecall from BIL asking if me and dh wanted to go to a mates 2moro nite so he's not in MIL's, rang my mum and he's not there either so sittin wondering wer he is, had a feelin he wouldnt go to MIL's.

If he lies about it then yes, I am sorry, but he has a gambling problem. Dp gambled just over £1000 on an online casino last year, he can home ad told me straight away.

You have every right to be angry but you do need to talk with each other.

Hope you are feeling abit better.

Ty throttle and i agree with u but just dont want to believe it, if i may ask wat did u say when ur dp told u wat he did?

There were a few bad words tbh. I told him I appreciated it that he decided to tell me instead of hiding it from me but that we were a family and could not afford to gamble so much money away and that if it happened again I would leave. I also told him about my ex and his gambling problems and he agreed that he shouldnt of done it.

So sorry about your mc. Can't imagine I'd have acted any diffrently to you - don't know if that makes it right, but certainly justified.
If he took evrything left in your bank account and gambled it, then that is a 'gambling problem' as far as I am concerned. It's not a tenner on the fight tomorrow night, is it?
This 'I don't know' business? I mean, does he or doesn't he? I'd have appreciated an 'I'm a selfish twat and gambled the lot and I'm sorry' level of honesty. I'd have hit him with something, but at least you can move on from that.
I hope you are OK x