So... all parents are equal, but some parents are more equal than others. Discuss.

[clam]

Just perusing another thread about the wisdom/necessity of an instruction manual being given to an exH for appropriate care for a baby. It set me thinking.
Are we women really the Managing Directors of parenting in the home, with our DPs operating largely under our leadership, or following our instructions? Those of us who have hands-on partners... are we glad about that 100% of the time, or do we pull rank at times? Who has a truly 50/50 responsibility with their DP?
What do we all think?

P.S. Just reviewed this and think it sounds like I'm trawling for an article. Promise I'm not. Name-search me if you don't believe me!

Fortunately not had much illness - but dh (who has a high powered, long hours job) does take time off. My job earns us less but is in healthcare and I don't want to leave my patients in the lurch. We tend to split the day up so we can each attend the vital bits. Ultimately his job is mostly doable from home and mine is completely not. I do realise I am lucky to have him do this and his work might be a bit but he is a good worker and it is worth it for them to cut him some slack. Just wish more men would so it wasn't seen as a women's role - and therefore a reason not to employ / promote mothers.

scorpio - intriguing .....

yeah actually i am managing director, i try and think that i am not but i really am.

i am always fighting for years with the fighting ...we recently moved - never had a dishwasher in or lives and one was left as part of the purchase.

so obv, no instructions - its not a new one by any means.

dh keep s asking me questions

DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN WITH FUCKING DISHWASHER KNOWLEDGE?

i dont get it

how hard it it

it says something like FULL CYCLE.....1
ECONOMY....2

etc

there is an OBVIOUS bit to put in a tablet.

i dont understand why this is difficult and i somehow have an instinct by virtue of my vagina

I'm definitely the MD, always have been even before DS. Since DS though, it is all me. DP is great, nappy changes, baths, cooking, better cleaner than me but when it comes to DS's other things - not so great. Wouldn't think to change the sterilizer water for example, unless I told him. I have only left him alone with DS for 4 hours since he was born, while I had a haircut. DS was well looked after, but the house looked like a small tornado had struck. Old nappy and PJs left where they were taken off, bathwater still in, bottles and dummies dotted about everywhere and DP looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. After 4 HOURS!!! He does acknowledge tho that he has no idea how I get through the day on my own.
Once upon a time, he had the day off and phoned me in work to find out how to put the wahing machine on!?! Wouldn't have minded but it was set on 40 degs, so all you had to do was press start. He also has no concept of separating the washing, so I don't let him do it often. And I never let him iron.
So, I agree that we women, generally work and run the home and sort stuff out, whilst the men work and play with DCs.
I wouldn't have it any other way, but may change my mind when maternity leave finishes.

Tell your DH to sort himself out Custy. Dishwashers are a man's domain (as they free us from actually washing dishes by hand) whereas washing machines are a woman's (just because).

He's letting the side down and overstepping the mark.

Man's domain, my a*. Is that why my DH comes along and REARRANGES the stuff I've already placed?

oh DH isn't very good at loading the dishwasher. he gets 2 cups and a spoon in and it's full. Me? 17 plates, 2 pots, every bit of cutlery we own, 47 mugs, 12 bowls and 2 baking trays. and ours is a half size one.

We're wrong to be pleased about being managing directors though - because the men end up being little princes who have everything done for them as long as they obey the rules.

LOL at custy's vagina

I remember my db once saying in expasperation to my father "do you think the womb is a tracking device? why d'you think mum knows where your socks are?"

I refer you all to Wifework by Susan Maushart.

All about how the thinking adn emotional work of the household is normally done by women.

Dh does most of it..... I think the kids would have been taken into care if it was left to me.

In my defence I do most of the cooking and he gets a lie in on Sat & Sun. ( I hate staying in bed in the morning , but don't tell him)