I lent money

[oddity]

I have a friend to whom I lent some money some months ago. I offered and she accepted. She was in need and it was for a specific reason. Money is not in huge abundance in her household but is not too tight either. It was clear it was a loan and that I was in no desperate rush to get it back.

She has mentioned it once, briefly, in the months that have followed.

The problem I have is that I would like to know when I might get it back. I am not in a desperate rush but I am beginning to need it for other things and I am beginning to feel used. She has been on two holidays and a number of short breaks. I lent the money for a specific reason and I feel a bit used that this is outstanding and yet I am pushed to the bottom of the pile whilst holidays are paid for.

She has been a very good friend to me. I have never met her. She is a MNer.

So its complicated and I don't want to post too much......

Have you mentioned the loan to her?

No. I just feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing.

I think you just need to ask.
I think sometimes i am the worst at paying back - not that i have ever borrowed much money, just the odd £10 - £20.
But my problem is i tend to forget - not because i mean to just so much going on. I would not be offended if someone reminded me.

maybe she will read this and it may prompt her to pay you back

Are you posting here so she can read this?

I would drop her an email and say you are trying to organise your finances for Xmas and can she give you an idea of when she will pay you back.

A bit surprised though that you would lend to someone you haven't actually met! You are generous.

Its unlikely she will see this.

If you have never met her, when can't you just email and ask when you are getting the money back. It must be easier than a face to face confrontation.

Just email her and let her know you need the money back.

tbh I would not lend money to someone I had never met

I've 'known' her a number of years and she has been a very good friend to me.

But its a good few hundred pounds.

Yup, I like the email and Christmas thoughts.

money transactions between "friends" always go tits up, sadly.

Buda has a good idea, give her a deadline.

Then, when you get it back, never lend again!

Just let her know that you need the money back, and clearly her finances are not so tight now as they were, whilst your finances are now tight.

I would drop her email like Buda said,she could of completly forgotten.Let her know in your email that you clearly feel uncomfortable talking about it and have put it off for a while.

She may read this and feel a tad though.

I deliberately posted this at a careful time of the week when she is unlikely to read it. I'm don't want to embarrass anyone. I just don't want to be used.

I have certainly learned my lesson and I won't lend a large amount of money again. I might give but not lend.

Anyway, thank you all for your help. I needed to talk it over to get it straight in my own head. I felt a bit guilty asking for it back because ultimately I felt I shouldn't have lent it if I had conditions that went with it. Or rather, I should have made clear the conditions.

I will email her about it and try to keep it light. Thanks all.

Are you going to get this thread deleted before your friend id likely to see it?

I hope so.