He wants another baby-I don't-I feel so guilty

[amiruininghislife]

I have namechanged for this so my dh doesn't read it.
I have realised I can't face/don't want another child
There are so many reasons. I have had ME since 15, had to have major surgery to conceive, was very ill during pregnancy, had a very traumatic birth resulting in a pph and prolapse and have had PND. My dd was preterm and has had delays. Also I am nearly 37. If i decide i have completed my family i can have surgery to fix my prolapse.
BUT my dh is one of 3 and would love another. He says its up to me but I can see the pain in his eyes. And i love him to bits.
Sorry it's so long, but any advice welcome- how do we get through this?

Would you put him through what you would have to go through?

He should love you enough to accept why you can't do it again, and if he can't accept that it's just too much for you then he's being a selfish twunt. Fuck the pain in his eyes, I bet it's nothing like the pain in your fanny when the head crowns.

thanks-you made me LOL with that last line! He will accept what I decide, i suppose I just hate knowing that i have denied something so important to him-if I wanted another and he didn't I'd be devastated.

Having another baby out of duty is a sure fire way of ensuring you resent the baby or your husband or both.

I know, and i suppose he should be glad we managed to have ONE.

there was a time we thought that was impossible, in fact!

yes he should be, and grateful to you for pushing that baby out.

Is it that you don't want another child at all or you just don't want to give birth again?

There is always adoption....?

no, I don't think i want to have another child at all, i just want to watch my dd grow up now.