This is likely to be long and rambling - I hope you can bear with me and perhaps give some advice, because I am very worried for this friend and her children.
Just over a year ago, a girl I vaguely knew from a toddler group moved into the flats opposite. Her dc are the same ages as mine, so we found ourselves walking to and from school together, going to the same birthday parties etc. and over time I have become something of a confidante to her.
I have always known that she has complex problems - poor housing, no money, unsupportive family and partner, learning difficulties - and I've tried to help out in every way I can.
For a long time I have suspected that the 'controlling tendencies' she talks about in the children's father went a little further than she was willing to discuss, but she's been very active in trying to get him out of the flat, and I thought SS were helping her with this.
Today she finally told me that he has been violent towards her - breaking a wrist and ribs in the past - and is often aggressive towards the children (who are 4 and 3). Basically, they live in fear, and the effects are quite evident in her children, the younger of whom has already been referred to a Child Psychologist.
He refuses to leave the flat, which is in a joint tenancy, so she can't change the locks. He has even suggested that she and children go to a hostel so he can stay! As if the HA would wear a single man in a 3-bed flat!
She tells me that she has tried to get an injunction against him, but the only witness to the violence is a 'friend' who won't make a supporting statement for fear of reprisals.
The situation seems to be spiralling downhill - both the kids were withdrawn and haunted-looking on the school run this morning; she has told me that she is depressed and alcohol-dependent, and getting worse (which makes her avoid seeking help because of the view SS might take of it).
I've suggested Women's Aid and the CAB and even just going to the hostel to be away from the situation, but she says she doesn't want to 'ruin Christmas'. Argh! She's even contemplating taking the children up to the partner's dad's place (he is also drunk, violent and abusive) for a week so they can see their cousins.
What on earth can I do? What is the best way forward? I feel like bundling her bodily to the police and Womens Aid and anyone else who will help, but she seems to have sunk so low now that she can't see a way forward.
Sorry this is so long; thanks for sticking with it. I have obv namechanged to protect her identity.