Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WHAT DO I DO NOW PART TWO !!

4 replies

sparky68 · 03/11/2008 22:26

Hi, after finding out my hubby was texting another woman, polish 26yr old, back in April,she went back,i found out , usual stuff , thought things were different between us, he denies anything sexual happened just friends,well lots gone on, shouting, tears on my behalf, she phones me up i am jealous woman,, in between all this ihave a cancer scare , have tests, biopsy etc, thankfully all ok, but have to go back in 6months for check up,then our ds has meningitus scare, in hospital, but ok now, thank god, , i think we are back on track slowly but then, day after our ds comes out of hospital, i decide to look at his phone, dont know why gut feeling i guess, and yes, his got her number on phone again under polish bloke at his works,i tackle him again, denies again, said bloke gave wrong number, his face was a picture thou once realized had kept her number still on my phone,we are still together, he says he gets bored during winter,i said so do i but dont text a young bit of fluff and lie etc,Thats four weeks ago, i dont check his phone mainly coz its locked away in his car, he seems ok, more chatty and loving, but why do i wonder still when his at work, he works till early hrs.my mind keeps ticking, when together i think we can get over this, but home alone with ds"s i get doubts., I still love him and wonder if its mid life crisis ,his in his 50s, me 12yrs younger.I dont want to spend nxt year wondering again like i have this yr,i know he will never tell me the truth , he just shouts and gets defensive,says he made a mistake.

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 04/11/2008 07:24

can i ask - was it a cervical cancer scare - because i too have been there.

It is a sexually transmitted virus that causes hpv which is what causes the cell changes in the cervix.- just so you know.

If you want to cat me then do.

sparky68 · 05/11/2008 21:48

Hi happy woman, no i have a lump in my thyroid, but tests came back ok,thanks for your message thou, and i hope all ok with you now. x

OP posts:
Anifrangapani · 06/11/2008 21:02

How would he react to you 2 sitting down and you saying that you no longer trust him?

My dh had an affair, which was sold to me as just a snog but turned out to be more. At first dh was very defensive but we sat down talked out the implications and where we wanted to be.... I gave him the choice of leaving and being with her or staying and being with me because he wanted to be. It was a hard ultimatum to give b/c I thought that he would leaave. However I would have prefered that ( and all the financial and heartache implications) that would have resulted than him living a double life.

we worked through it -although there are still days where the demons raise their ugly heads.

Honesty, openness and a "no blame" culture worked for us. It made both of realise what was good and what and why it needed changing.

sparky68 · 06/11/2008 21:38

Hi anifrangapani,
thanks for message,we have sat down and talked ,he knows i dont trust him, he still denies anything sexual happened but the things i found out , not by him telling me but by me looking into things and searching, points out more happened, i gave him the chance to put cards on table so we could find out where we had gone wrong and how to mend us,he was going to leave but decided he never done anything so wud stay,we are trying but i cant let it rest totally not coz if he had sex or anything sexual, but why he did it and the lies which just grew and thats what gave him away too, as he lied so much he could not remember what he said.i still now try and get him to open up and be honest wiv me but he just says nothing happened but he made a mistake,i think she used him whislt over here for money, fun sex made him feel good, she went back and he realized he felt for her, one text said he missed her,but she let him take all the crap from me, and only phoned to call me a jealous woman.some days i am good but others as you say the demons come back, how can i lie them to rest when i dont know what really happened or why ? thanks again,how do cope when the demons rise again ?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread