You know romance is dead when...

[Gateau]

Your DH buys you wellies for your birthday.
Okay, they're really cool - bright red, glossy and with a little heel, but even so....
Sadder thing is, I asked for them!!!

Anyone else??....

You find an old love letter from your DH tucked into a book and realise the last note you got from him said "we need milk"

I got wellies for Xmas last year - our first Xmas together. This year I've asked for saucepans.

You talk about the consistency of the last nappy during foreplay

No.

I bought my DP some lovely navy Hunter wellies for his birthday nearly four years ago. He didn't understand at the time - but he does now, and it was really romantic .

A wink and a slap on the arse is his idea of foreplay

A chest freezer for giving birth to DS

Threatened him he could be in it

see my thread, anniversary gift?

DH said if he had someone like Tess from Strictly Come Dancing that she is so perfect and beautiful that he would feel he could never fart in front of her! He farts around me ALL the time! Does that mean I'm butt ugly? I said "But do you want to fart?" He said Yes. Romantic conversation or what .

He is away working for 5 and a half weeks - travelling through duty free with all thoose lovely perfumes and cosmetics, whilst you slave away looking after the 3 DC and he buys you - a pair of socks! (funky socks with toes but socks non the less!)

We had this conversation recently. I told DH that it was probably going to be the least romantic thing that I had ever told him, but that I was really pleased as my piles were shrinking faster after this delivery than they did after the last.
He was lovely enough to be -
a) not too grossed out
b) pleased for me that I'm recovering

DH used to hold in his farts for me. That was quite a few years ago. Now he just blames the smells on newborn DD2.

You know its dead when once upon a time you DH used to leave love notes around the house for you to find during the day,but now leaves his under pants around as love tokens,or when your having 5 mins piece in the bath comes in to poo on the pretence that he actually wants to talk to you,or tricks you into a cuddle under the duvet when he really wants you to smell the fart he did.