Sorry this is long! Over a year ago i found out that my husband had slept with a work collegue. It happened only once, but they had kissed a few times and been flirting for a few months prior to the event. When i found out i was totally broken as i was 6 months pregnant with our first child. He admitted to using no protection and so i had a std check and was given all clear. I decided to stay with him as i had to take some blame for the state of our relationship. We lived apart a lot of my pregnancy due to work comittments and our sex life was mainly non existant. One year later and i still cant seem to move on. I have so many questions that he never answered but whenever i try to talk about it, he goes mad. He doesnt seem to understand how hard it is, knowing that they slept together in our bed. We often see her in town, although he did, at least, leave the job she worked at. My husband has offered to move away and start again, but i have friends and family here. I dont trust him anymore and fear that one day i wont be enough for him, just like in the past. I also constantly feel like doing it back to him. Not because i want sex with someone else, but i want him to feel the pain that im going through. Since telling me, my husband had a break downn and finds it difficult to talk about. He always tells me he loves me and he would never do it again because he knows what he nearly lost but im not sure if i believe him. Once a cheat, always a cheat?!!!!!! When will this pain go away, i think about what happened every day.