I feel miserable...

[Enid]

OK, dp has gone to China for 8 days, dd1 is being really naughty, dd2 is poorly with a wheezy cough and conjunctivitus, yesterday I turned up all geared up to get my coil fitted and I had got the time wrong and the doctor had left, and worst of all I found out a few weeks ago that my brother is receiving treatment for heroin addiction.

I feel really low and miserable and need a bit of comforting. Oh, I've been diagnosed with anemia too, and I've got a sore throat. And I had to take dd2 into hospital every morning for 10 days to get her tummy button seen to.

And none of my girlfriends live close so I am alone in the evenings, and my close friend has just got a job so I feel like a boring stay at home mum with no life.

Enid - big cuddle! I'm working from home today so come round and have a cup of tea with some chocolate cake. Sugar? Another slice? Hope things sort themselves out soon.

I am not surprised you are feeling miserable Enid ... you have got a lot on your plate at the moment ...
Why don't you plan the time that your DH is away? ... plan to do something different each day so that you have something to look forward to each night for the next day.
In the evenings treat yourself something each night ... do a home pamper session ... bubble bath etc one evening/face mask/candles in the bathroom, that sort of thing ... get a smoochy video out that you have been wanting to see one night ... devote another night to Mumsnet ... ... pick up the phone and talk to your friends if you can't see them ... Can you go and stay with friends for a couple of nights with DDs? Treat yourself to yummy food ...
Keep talking whatever you do and see if you can cheer yourself up by finding some of the funny threads on mumsnet - they usually give me a laugh anyway!
Hang in there

Oh Enid, I was just wondering whether to post on the Missing Persons thread, as the last we heard of you were not very well.
I am guessing hearing that your brother has a drug problem was news to you, what a horrible shock. BUT he is being treated for it...do hope that goes well.
More cyber cake and tea and hugs on their way from London, along with fresh shipment of Vrai vanilla yogurt.
You are NOT a boring SAHM with no life. You are unwell and temporarily marooned with a naughty toddler and a poorly baby, that would get anyone down.
Ghosty's idea of treating yourself as nicely as possible sounds good, you deserve it.

Enid, lots of cyberhugs from me too, you sound like you're doing heroically well under difficult circumstances. no wonder you feel so bad, with anaemia I think your whole body goes out of kilter & it must affect your happy hormones. Treats are the order of the day. Do you know anyone well enough to babysit? you could go & see a film one evening & buy lots of chocolate/ice cream. failing that a gooey video and your favourite flavour of haagen dazs.
One of my exes (from way back when in the 6th form) ended up being dragged by his mum to rehab for heroin addiction and I hear he's absolutely fine now, even has a couple of kids, so it can work.
If your dd has any more problems, couldn't you ask your GP/community nurse to visit rather than traipsing into hospital? I think they'd regard you as a deserving case, who needs all the support she can get

Any one of those things is enough to make a person feel miserable.

Hugs!

To be honest, I have felt crap for a few weeks now - was concerned that I might be getting PND but health visitor and mum insist that its a combination of tiredness and circumstances. I have been worried about dp going out to China, my brother's news was a horrible shock and I had a massive row with my mum about it. My sleeping has been so poor too - when I have a good night I feel fine and almost as strong as usual, but a bad night really seems to knock me for six these days.

Moan moan moan...sorry

Oh Enid poor you. A married couple who are friends of ours revealed a heroin addiction a couple of years ago. The shock was incredible. They made a commitment to conqueur it and with lots of help, support and counselling they are now clean, have a 6 month old baby and are blissfully happy. Hope your brother is able to beat it.

Lots of love and hugs, Enid. I'm not surprised you are feeling down at the moment. A thought about the tiredness - could you take anything to help you sleep? I'm thinking not so much prescription drugs but more one of the herbal over-the-counter remedies they sell at Boots. Just thought I'd mention it as I am such a poor sleeper myself and sometimes end up in tears the next day over really trivial things because I am so tired. If you could get a few good nights sleep, you might feel more able to face the other stuff.

Loads of sympathy over your brother's problems. At least he is getting the help he needs which has to be a good thing. BTW, you don't sound in the least bit boring, just fed up. Hope your dd is better soon. xxx

I hope this doesn't sound at all patronising, it's certainly not meant that way. Try to pick the good bits out of what's happening (and this is easier to see from a distance I admit):
Your brother is receiving treatment so he's taken the first steps on the road to recovery.
DP will be back in 8 days.
DD2s illnesses will get better and (I assume) her tummy button is now sorted.
Your health will get better now you know you're anaemic

When you're alone in the evening, run a nice hot bath, shove in lots of relaxing aromatherapy bubble bath, light some candles and chill out.

Make rice crispie cakes with DD1 to keep her mind off being naughty and then scoff them all in the bath

Log onto Mumsnet in the evening for a virtual girls night out? There's usually someone here (or in The Yurt).

Hugs again,
from another boring SAHM. Sigh.

Enid, sorry to hear you are having some sad days. The news about your brother is a real shocker but at least he is being treated - probably not very comforting at the moment.
I send you big sympathy because I know what it is like when you are on your own. I find that I only need one thing to go wrong and my ability to cope diminshes tenfold.
I hope dd2 and you feel better soon. I'm not sure what age your dd1 is, but how about suggesting a big bubble bath for her? My ds loves the bath and sometimes if he is being a pain I will suggest it at 3pm and he can spend nearly an hour in there happily playing. It seems to have a really calming effect.
If all else fails, get to your nearest shop and stock up on yummy treats! Guaranteed pleasure.

Enid, much sympathy, it sounds horrible.

Enid , life sounds a bit tough just now. Agree with all the others lots and lots of treats and obviously Mumsnet.

Enid, You are anything but boring. Hope you feel better soon.

Enid,so sorry things are bad,what a terrible shock for you about your brother.Hope you and your little one are feeling better soon.

Enid, have you got proper prescribed iron (Ferrous Sulphate) tabs for your anaemia (as opposed to general multivit which will take much longer to kick in)?

I've had severe anaemia twice, once after horrendous birth of dd and once after a miscarriage. Both times it totally affected my ability to cope. After dd's birth I thought I had PND but after a week on the old iron tabs really was 100% better. Again, after the miscarriage was so devastated, exhausted, tearful and totally lacking in any sense of proportion about anything in my life and again getting the anaemia diagnosed and treated really helped. It sounds like you have got a huge amount on your plate at the moment but at least the anaemia is treatable. I promise things will seem better once it's under control. Also things like sore throats/colds seem to drop off once the haemoglobin count goes up.

Like everyone else, I recommend lots of spoiling treats e.g. chunky kitkats and loads of crappy mags to read in the evenings. And get a few girly vids too, the sort dps inevitably scoff at when they're around!

My DP had a wild youth ( before i met him ) and had a heroin problem which he dealt with by himself. You'd never know from the upright citzen and loving father that he is now.

If your brother is getting treatment and wants to do this - then he can do it. As always with these things he needs your support and understanding.

Hope you feel better soon.

Big Cyber hug
Kaz33

Thank you so, so much everyone for your kind and brilliant thoughts and suggestions. I feel A LOT better - anto, I have been taking prescribed iron pills for 10 days or so now and I have noticed a big difference in my energy levels - I am tired now rather than EXHAUSTED!

I have taken everyones advice and been treating myself in the evening, I can't believe I didn't think about that on my own but there you go. Had a long hot candlelit bath with nice oils one night (knocked me out completely!), Buffy and a snuggly blanket last night, Heat magazine and a tub of ice cream one night. Dd2 is still very poorly and waking several times a night but I have been sleeping much better between her wakings. Also I have been writing faxes to dp where I rant on about my day, delete it all and end up writing something suitably upbeat, very therapeutic! Still breastfeeding so can't take any sleepy remedies unfortunately - I think a night of Zimmovane induced sleep will be my present to myself when I give up...

All the positive comments about heroin addiction have brought a tear to my eye. I so hope he beats this - at least he hasn't been injecting so we don't have the hiv risk to worry about too. Mum is very positive about his progress so I'm going to hope and pray that he keeps doing so well.

Marina, off to Waitrose today for that elusive Vrai yogurt, yum

Also I have been taking Jan de Vries Mood Essence drops in water every day, who knows whether these things work but I certainly feel lighter and more positive.

enid, i am so glad to hear you are feeling better. i meant to post earlier in the week but have been having a bit of a busy mare this week so didn't get round to it.

i think it's brilliant your brother has faced up to this and is getting treatment. fingers crossed it all goes well for him.

as you have seen, there are already some fantastic suggestions here, which i can't improve on. sorry grammarians "upon which i can't improve."

fwiw, i always picture you with a rather glamourous "country living" yet cool and trendy life!

hope things continue to improve. all the best